Therefore, even today there are numerous types of holiday celebrated around the world to represent their country's tradition and honor the famous ancient people.
it will be better if you write: "therefore, even today people celebrate numerous types of holidays around the world to represent their country's tradition and to show their honor to their ancestors. "
As the children of Great Genghis Khan
don't write children, instead you can write it in this way: "as a part of the glorious legacy of Great Genghis Khan, i believe, we should celebrate this day with deep respect and integrity to commemorate the contributions that he made to this nation."
By the way, your intro is pretty big. Try to write a short intro. your supporting idea (what he did and what you think) should be in your body para. your intro should only contain your opinion and nothing more than that.
your overall writing is good. wish you all the best :)