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Create a promotional brochure about a man-made wonder of Viet Nam


baotran114 1 / -  
Dec 8, 2019   #1

T'Nung Lake



Welcome to T'Nung Lake, one of the most remarkable sites in and around Pleiku city!
You will certainly be impressed with the spectacular scenery around the lake. The water is so blue that you can see clearly the fish swimming under water. There are many vast forests, winding and rolling hills. It's well worth visiting the most sacred olace of T'Nung Lake-Guan Yin state.

T'Nung lake is a must for all lovers of the peacful scene. It is a heaven for birds such as: kingfishers, mallard.... It is also a fisher sources anually provide hundred of tone of fish for Pleiku city

Don't miss out on a visit to T'Nung lake. Its beauty will make your trip unforgettable.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Dec 9, 2019   #2
@baotran114
Welcome to the forum. I hope my feedback helps you improve this brochure.

Be extra cautious when you're uttering your sentences. Bear in mind that for shorter sentences, it becomes even more important to ensure that your writing is technically correct since people are not so focused on the content. (Rather, people are more focused on the way that you write.

The second line needs to be improved in that regard. The scenery isn't necessarily located around the lake (since the succeeding sentence discussed the water itself); instead, it is lake itself. The easiest way to be mindful of this would be to source the logical flow of your writing. At one point, you will notice that your writing is going at the wrong direction.

Be more creative as well with your language after correcting the basics. You could have said, for example, that you are in awe of the lake instead of impressed by it because it conveys a deeper meaning.

The second line appears to be out of place as well.


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