Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Creative Approach to Teach Engineering for Everyone


Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
Fawn Qiu starts her idea by problems faced in her daily experiences. Taking back 'Fluppy Bird' games by app store and going to an event but nothing to be worn inspire her to create a physical Fluppy Bird games in a box and design a unique costum as well. Considering about the people's responses to the 'real' game, Qiu then comes up with the idea to teach primary and secondary students about engineering through creative projects. By utilizing paper and fabric - everyday materials - to replace costing tools in school, she changes the perception of technology as affordable and easy to be found.

Then, it results massive interest of students to make their own plays through those materials as they are eager to play their own games. Hence, through this creative project, in introduces new kind of technology and educating societies about engineering in other way. Later, three excellent points are brought out regarding this project; low floor, high ceiling and customization.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,033 4247  
Nov 12, 2016   #2
Mujaddidah, the most important thing that you have to know when it comes to writing summaries is that you need to get the spelling right when indicating important data within the essay. In this case, you misspelled the word "Flappy Bird" which is the game that is indicated in the original video. If you had bothered to refer to the transcript to double check your information, you would have realized that you spelled the word as "Fluppy" which is not the same word as "Flappy". When you make a mistake with any part of the information, even if it is something as simple as the name of a game, the overall veracity of the essay is affected. There now exists a flaw in your essay which will make the reader question the validity of your report.

Aside from that, you neglected to mention the activity that pushed Fawn to become creative in her teaching classes. The fact that the students were bored or intimated by the original building kits is an important part of the report. That portion explains how the author came to conclusion that changes in the teaching method was badly required.

Finally, you should have defined the meaning of low floor, high ceiling, and customization means to the author and the learner. Keep in mind that in a summary, explanations are vital to the understanding of the reader. In this case, you failed to give meaning to the words so the reader has no idea about the relevance of these terms in the summary.
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 13, 2016   #3
Hi, what a good summary, but let me give several comments, perhaps useful for you.
1. Miss spelling word
Fluppy Bird----> Flappy Bird
2. you should put the source of the video, so others people will easy to follow the information.
3. ... brought out regarding this project; low floor, high ceiling ... ----> you should make more explanation, to make the readers ease to follow your summary, particularly your conclusion or the end of the summary.

4. Better if you write a summary at least 150 words.


Home / Writing Feedback / Creative Approach to Teach Engineering for Everyone