Please review my essay and tell me what you think. I want to know if its horrible before i give it to my teacher!!
I have spent seven years of my life in Poland. It is a country nestled in the regions of Central Europe. In Poland, the roads are not asphalt, but actually forged from twenty-four karat gold. There are unicorns roaming in the fields with such beauty, it cannot be humanly described. These fields contain the utter-most beautiful flowers and the weather is out of this world. It only snows delicious fluffy marshmallows, and the rainwater is so pure, it is bottled and sold to the most richest people. In Poland, cars aren't allowed to roam the streets, but instead, citizens ride magic carpets with the most elegant and exotic designs; only the best money can buy. As you can see, Poland is basically Heaven.
Obviously, this description of the country I call home is entirely fabricated from my imagination. Poland is actually nothing like this, but if there is one quality I want to show in this essay about myself, it is my ability to think outside the box. I thrive on creativity, and originality is what I do best. I could have written all about the time I won the basketball game with the winning shot just two seconds before the buzzer rang. Maybe you would have enjoyed hearing how I scored a perfect score in Bowling, and how all my hard effort ended up in a victory for the team. Oh, and how could I forget the time I spent every weekend volunteering at the local soup kitchen for two months straight, and how it made me grateful for everything I have. To be honest though, like my description above, all those stories would be untrue. I have never done any of those things. However, even if I did, why bore you like that? I do not want to write another interchangeable essay that you have most likely read hundreds of times. I do not want to waste your time advertising myself for you, and telling you about why I am the best, and all the reasons you should accept me. I much rather show you some originality and my unique personality. This is why I decided to use a creative writing piece about my country. I hope instead of hearing some story of an accomplishment, or about what clubs and activities I am involved in, my tale of the less then perfect country of Poland will make me stand out.
These fields contain the utmost beautiful flowers, and the weather is out of this world. It only snows delicious , fluffy marshmallows, and the rainwater is so pure that it is bottled and sold to the most richest people.
I can't tell if this is all one paragraph... are you starting a new paragraph with this? Obviously, this description of the...
Don't capitalize bowling.
...to think "outside the box."
I do not want to waste your time by advertising myself for you, and telling you about why I am the best, and all the reasons you should accept me. I would much rather show you some originality and my unique personality. This is why I decided to use a creative writing piece about my country. I hope instead of hearing some story of an accomplishment, or about what clubs and activities I am involved in, my tale of the less-than-perfect country of Poland will make me stand out.
At the end, I think you should make one more wild claim about Poland!
