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Crime in two countries comparison. REVIEW MY IELTS WRITING OF LINE GRAPH

beckycyy 1 / -  
Feb 15, 2020   #1

three types of crimes in England and Wales

1.You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales.
Write at least 150 words.

The line graph compares the number of cases committed in England and Wales using three types of crimes over a period of 35 years.
It is clear that the most crimes by far was caused by car theft over the 35-year period.By contrast, the number of cases related to street robbery remained relatively few.

Between 1970 and 1990, both car theft and house burgling showed a trend of rise with the number of house burgling cases reaching its peak at 0.7million.Fortunately,

the figure for street robbery was below 100,000 and remained at this level until 1990.
5 years later, car theft rose dramatically and finally reached its peak at 1.6million. After the year of 1995, the cases of car theft and house burgling began to drop, relatively to 1million and 0.5million in 2005. Unfortunately, street robbery came out more frequently since 1990 and in the year of 2005, the case number arrived at 0.2million.

Holt [Contributor] - / 7,889 2167  
Feb 15, 2020   #2
Remember to use a space bar to separate a period at the end of a sentence, before you start the next sentence. This will make it easier for the examiner to read your work.

Your summary / overview paragraph is incomplete. The summary paragraph of this essay should have stated the following:
- Type of graph
- Type of crimes
- Years covered
- measurement representation (millions)
- Obvious trend of the crime rate

Of the aforementioned requirements, you only indicated the type of graph and possible trend. That is why your essay is extremely short. Even though you wrote 155 words, I am afraid that will not be enough to boost your score because you did not use enough words to show that you analyzed the graph in a manner that would have allowed you to write a maximum of 200 words. In effect, you underutilized the information presented. When you do not properly represent the information in the essay in the form of a paragraph analysis, you prevent your essay from achieving its full scoring potential.

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