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IELTS - crimes committed by young people in major cities R&G


veronicafy 2 / 4 1  
Apr 30, 2013   #1
QUESTION:Nowadays, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is on the rise.What are the reasons? Give some solutions.

It seems to be an increasingly widespread problem that crimes are committed by the youth and I think mass media and family structure are definitely responsible for this.

A number of factors contribute to the juvenile delinquency and it is obvious that media the most powerful drive. Vulgarity and violence is shown on TV as profit-pursuing television companies want to attract more viewers. However, children are more vulnerable to offensive images than adults and accept them as nature and try to copy what is shown. For example, in Boston USA, a 13-year-old boy killed 30 students in his school after watching a TV program.

Another critical cause of crime is the changing family structure. Compared with nuclear families which are the norm of the day, the joint families in which grandparents used to teach moral values to children in early years have their unique advantage. Moreover, grandparents could also help keep an eye on the friend circle of their grandchildren. The fact that parents today are both working and children are left unattended at home makes these adolescents may fall into bad company and resort to drugs and prostitution under peer pressure. For drugs are desperately need money which turns them towards crimes.

In order to tackle this problem, in other words, to let the media provide children more appropriate TV and reduce series filled with detailed description of crimes, some censorship is needed. More importantly, joint family pattern should be encouraged and parents should spend more time watching TV with their children so that they know what their children are exposed to. Finally, government should try and reduce unemployment and poverty which are the root causes and promote well-rounded education.

Please kindly give me some suggestions ,thx.

Dovelin - / 1  
Apr 30, 2013   #2
Crimes committed by young people are rampant due to Lack of Employment, the idea of Getting Rich Quickly and Influence from some of Our Peers.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Apr 30, 2013   #3
It seems to be an increasingly widespread problem that crimes are committed by the youth and I think mass media and family structure are definitely responsible for this.

I wish you introduced your topic in a bit more detailed and simple manner. Introduction plays an important role in your essay because it is the one that forms first impression about your writing. This is what I suggest;

The crimes that are committed by young people in major cities of the world are on the rise at an alarming rate. Although there are many reasons that promote such dangerous behavior in young people, I believe that the influence of mass media and disturbed family backgrounds are mainly responsible for this trend.
OP veronicafy 2 / 4 1  
Apr 30, 2013   #4
Many THX for your advice. I'll try to write my introduction in the way as you suggested.


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