'It was a crisp October morning'; Innovation needs one thought, one person.

"It is always an individual who is the impetus for innovation; the details may be worked out by a team, but true innovation results from the enterprise and unique perception of an individual."

It was a crisp October morning; Faiqa and I were sitting in the lecture theater discussing themes for designing the stage for the Senior Farewell party. "Same old boring ideas, we need to think out of the box", Faiqa exclaimed. I closed my eyes and tried thinking of a new idea, a theme never done in the University. "Eureka!" I said animatedly, "How about a stage back drop with the front of a car protruding out of it?" This would be exciting and fun and absolutely never done before!" Faiqa was all exhilaration, so I felt a bit confident but we had to discuss it with the entire organizing committee to reach a final decision. As expected most of the members were skeptical on the ground "We are Pharmacists not Artists, how can we pull it off?" they said, while a few were only concerned about the fact that a lot of ornaments were already purchased and we didn't have enough money to shop for materials all over again. Ready for opposition, I started advocating my point of view, "The seniors are going off to their practical lives and what can be a more stylish way then to send them in a sports car with the slogan that says "Your off to bumpy road, so best of luck", don't you think?", a few nods in the crowd urged me to continue spiritedly," and think of the appreciation we'll receive if we do something innovative, flowers and balloons are so dated". After a bit of persuasion, almost all of them agreed and the responsibility to design the stage fell on my feeble shoulders. From that very day I started making designs and devising techniques to materialize them in a way that wouldn't exceed the budget. I can proudly say that all the people in the team worked relentless along with me, even smoothed out a few creases in my plans. Finally, on the morning of the party when the structure of a car, made out of fabric, ply wood and paper, was erected at the back of the stage all of us were beaming. I was applauded for conceiving such an idea and bringing it to life; in my heart I knew that if there had been nobody with the vision to believe in my plans, with the credence to work on them persistently and the imagination to improve and enhance them, all of it could have never been created. So, I stood on stage that evening as the innovator but not as a sole achiever, as it was the achievement of the entire team which was orchestrated by me.

Innovation is a brainchild of an individual, which is executed by the combined efforts of a team, constituting of people who contribute their expertise. There are various elements to be acquired, different components to be engineered, distinct aspects to be merged and a wide range of hurdles to be triumphed over; all of this can't be accomplish by an individual. So every creation is a product of team work, but it is initiated by an individual's idea which in turn stimulates the entire team.

Through out time, many people have come up with innovations which have changed the phase of history. Henry Ford incorporated "Ford's Motors" with the vision to construct cars for the great multitude, in 1906 he offered the T-model which heralds the beginning of the Motor age; the car evolve from being a luxury to a common mode of transportation. But the acclaim of revolutionizing the mode of transportation can not be awarded exclusively to Ford, but coming up with such an innovative concept which brought about this revolution can, most certainly, be credited to his name

Imran Khan, an eminent cricketer turned politician, came up with the ingenious idea of constructing a state of the art Cancer Hospital in Pakistan in memory of his late mother, although the designing and execution of the master plan was overseen by Dr. Nuasherwaan, but it was his wisdom and perception that enabled his to bring together such an intelligent team of people who could bring his ideas to life. And thus Shauket Kanum memorial Cancer hospital and research center was established which is providing top notch medical care to cancer patients from Pakistan and from around the world.

An individual with vision, intuition, urge, dynamic ideas as well the capability to put all the pieces together in an appropriate fashion is essential for the creation of novelty, such an individual is a leader, a true perpetuator of innovation. As Steve Jobs, the co founder of Apple, once said: "Innovation distinguishes a leader from a follower", an innovative thought, just fully put.

Hi again, Mariam!


Don't capitalize pharmacists and artists. If you want emphasis, you can put them in quotes, though I'm not sure whether that is permitted :)


It should be "than."


You are/ You're.


Here you need a full stop instead of the comma.


When you start a quote, you shouldn't leave any space between the inverted commas and the first word. Like this -- spiritedly, "And think..."

Moreover, I think the comma should be a dash (not sure again), and "and" should be capitalized.


Throughout is one word.


Comma splice.


evolved


Two "buts" in this sentence.
My version would be: While the acclaim of revolutionizing the mode of transportation can not be awarded exclusively to Ford, the act of coming up with such an innovative concept which brought about this revolution can, most certainly, be credited to his name.


A full stop in place of the comma. You won't have any grammar problems once you sort out your punctuation.

Your job is to locate a punctuation error in the concluding paragraph, and correct it.

Okay, so you write really well. You have given some good points and developed them well. I just think you used too many words describing that stage-designing experience. After all, it's not a personal essay. A more concise paragraph would have given you some space and time for another example.

Otherwise, a job well done.

P.S. My GRE is on the 13th of this month. Don't know what am I gonna do :(

This is very well-written! I don't have much to say about the writing, because you have a very sophisticated way of writing that does not need me to mess with it. I do have something to say about the concepts, though:

I think there is some wisdom to the statement made in the prompt, and although you are arguing against it you can add a dimension to this essay by briefly acknowledging the truth to which the statement refers. If you give a sentence or two to show that you understand what it means, your own argument will have more strength, because you'll have shown that none of the statement's meaning was lost on you.