Is my thesis strong enough? Thanks in advance for any help
Education is sought after by individuals for their goals towards life. It can further oneself to a successful career just like many college students are doing today but some failed. Some students are inspired by education and want to further on their goals like Mike Rose and the help of his teachers. But not everyone is fortunate enough to be able to go to school and raise a family at the same time because they need to go to work and have dinner on the table. Lucille Elmore is an educated person because she realized what she has to do further herself.
Asking a student why they would want an education and most of them will say "to get a good job." In this essay Five Ways to Wisdom by Otto Friedrich she explained the reason why most students say this. According to Rev Theodore Hesburgh, president of Notre Dame "the most popular course on the American campus is not literature or history but accounting" (p.196). Students are not just looking for a good major but also an entry in to the middle class. They want to get a good job right out of college. The reason they pick accounting is because there are a lot of job offered for accountant. Michael Adelson, 23, a UCLA psychology student has not found a job since he graduated. He has said that his Bachelor of Arts degree is completely useless. Even having a PhD in Renaissance painting or the history of French monasticism won't land you a job right away. According to George W. Valsa, supervisor of the college-recruiting section at Ford: "we are not ready to sign a petition to burn down liberal arts colleges, but don't expect us to go out and hire many liberal arts graduates." Ford has almost 1,000 graduates working for them mostly engineers or M.B.A. (Pg196). Knowing this information is crucial for getting a job after graduating because just like Adelson with the degree in psychology he has no job.
Mike Rose was a struggling student in his younger life, until he reached his second year of high school where education became interesting to him. In the essay Jack MacFarland, Our Lady of Mercy High School Rose had the help of his English teacher Mr. MacFarland to discover what education meant. "He gave me a way to feel special by using my mind" (Pg185). Professor MacFarland has a way to make his student feel good about school. In addition Rose also said "While it's certainly we're created an educational system that encourages our best and brightest to become cynical grade collectors and, in general, have developed an obsession with evaluation and assessment." (Pg185) Rose stated that he loved getting good grades from Professor MacFarland. This is the definition of what an educated person is. Rose struggled early in school and then successfully passing the hardest teacher in high school. He discovered something that was inside him that needed help and Professor MacFarland saw that opportunity. With the help of one teacher many student can be inspired just like Rose. He did not realize it yet but Rose was on his path to keep the tradition of teaching continue.
There are peoples that don't value education as much as others. For example, in the essay Overcoming an Invisible Handicap, Lucille Elmore decides to enroll in college at the age of thirty. After graduating high school she and her husband chose to start a family instead of going to college. Settling down Elmore finally decide it was the right time to further on her education. She has what a lot of people want that is a family, a decent job, and a warm home. One can question her on why she wants to go out of her ways and be a student again. Elmore definition of success is not for monetary rewards like many college students. She said "I know I am a failure. I'm a failure because I am ignorant. I'm a failure until I have knowledge, until I can work with it, be excited by and play with ideas" (p.210). For some people (like Elmore) having an education is not for rewards but for self knowledge. She is an educated person because doesn't look at things in term of money but instead the power of knowledge and using it as ideas.
Education is a way to better oneself in one way or another. The majority of college students are seeking an entrance to middle class system in which they want to get paid after graduating. They want a high salary job for all those years of hard worked they have put in college. Some people need the inspiration to continue learning just like Mike Rose. With the aid of professor MacFarland Rose became inspired to like school and education altogether. After being out of school so long Lucille Elmore decides to go back to college. She did not go back because her job asks her to but instead Elmore wanted to learn and play with ideas. Many have different reasons to why they want an education but they share the same goal, a better life.
Start by defining your key terms. In this case, start by explaining what you understand by the term "education". Until you, and your readers, know what you mean by the word 'education,' how can you say anything about it with confidence? Once you have a solid grasp of what education is, you should be able to come up with a stronger thesis and better focus your essay.
It can be used to advance oneself to a successful career; many college students are doing just that, but others falter.
When you mention Mike Rose in the first paragraph, you might want to give more explanation, like: Some students are inspired by education and want to pursue their goals, like Mike Rose did with inspiration from his teachers ("title of Rose's essay").
One can question her on why she wants to go out of her way and be a student again.
Is this supposed to be about Elmore? At the end of the first paragraph, maybe you should choose one of Friedrich's 5 purposes of education and make it your thesis statement. For example, I see at the end that you summed it up by saying, "they share the same goal: creating a better life. That is great!! Take away the last sentence of the first paragraph, and replace it with an assertion that, "Whether students go to school to become qualified for a job, to transmit culture, to train the mind to think, to liberate the mind, or to learn morality (Friedrich), they all share the common goal of improving the quality of their lives." That is a good thesis for this paper, although it is probably a little too general.
