Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


The most crucial creation in the last 30 years - the Internet


JIDA 8 / 6 4  
Oct 7, 2015   #1
The internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.


Over recent years, the internet becomes the most essential creation. Most of people use the internet because it has more merits for their life. I would argue that both of them have positive and negative implications.

There are loads of demerits the usage of the internet. Firstly, criminals increasingly use the internet to steal people's money. They can do easily to get more money from it by influencing people with some tempting words in the internet. Unfortunately, people could be interest with their words and give their money to deceiver. Afterwards, people tend to confuse because they have bounded rationality because mankind cannot filter plenty of information. It makes the users difficult to choose good information.

In these days, the internet has revolutionized communication. It becomes important innovation which can help human activity to do something more easily than before. Those can use feature of internet such as email. The use of email create send message becomes more flexible and faster than send letter by post office. In bygone era, people sent message using a conventional way when they sent letter. They spent long time until the message into the people who want to be able to received the message. Moreover, it gives us instant access to information on almost any subject across the curriculum, including articles, illustrations and journals.

The aforementioned evidence reveals that the usage of the internet has merits and demerits for each. I believe that the existence of the internet help our life more simply even though it has an obviously deteriorating effect. So, it depends you how to using the internet.
ochio 13 / 10 5  
Oct 7, 2015   #2
- Over recent (years) <= In my opinion,use 'decades' is better
- Most of people use the internet because it has more merits for their lifelives
- I would argue that both of them havethe internet has both positive and negative implications.
-people tend to confuseget confused because they have bounded rationality because mankindand cannot filter plenty of information.
-In these days, the internet has revolutionized the communication system
-Those can use feature of internet such as email. => give more examples besides email
-I believe that the existence of the internet helphelps our life more simply even though it has an obviously deteriorating effect. So, it depends onyou howhow youto usinguse the internet.
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Oct 8, 2015   #3
I would argue...

I think you should include some person examples in your essay, and introduce them in your first paragraph. The instructions say to do this, and I don't think you really did!

so it depends...

Again, use your life experience to enhance the essay, and list these along with what you already have, in the conclusion.

I think you do a good job of showing both sides, but again you could expand. Try to think of how the internet has helped you, and maybe how it hasn't. Perhaps you could mention keeping in touch with friends by email as a positive, and spam as a negative.

So just adjust your intro and conclusion to add relevant personal examples, and then add a paragraph about them.

Good start!

ef _carol
Samuelsam123 12 / 46 20  
Oct 8, 2015   #4
Hey there !
Glad I helped

first of all ,
your opening for this essay is pretty not what you could have done. Based on your essay , you can do better !

I would argue that both of them have positive and negative implications.
This sentence should never ever appear in essays , this only brings down the quality of your work.

If it is possible , do some research on internet (may be the founder )
your first paragraph is not quite relevant to the topic , your topic asked for significance not for pro and con.
you could have written the importance on internet in our daily lives, to begin with.

Maybe add your own personal experience? how internet helped you ? Is the effect good ?

well that's overall of this essay . Good start tho, keep trying and read up more !


Home / Writing Feedback / The most crucial creation in the last 30 years - the Internet
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳