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ielts: cultural heritage used to attract tourists and promote tourism


sakura0v0 1 / 3  
Jan 5, 2011   #1
Any feedback is welcome!

essay:some people think cultural heritage should be used to attract tourists and promote tourism,while some think that would damage cultural heritage.discuss.

Cultural heritages, like the old china cultureļ¼Œold India culture, the Maya culture, and so on, are the gift that the ancestor left to us. All of them show the development of human. How to make the gift more useful to the local society?

A major number of people consider we could exploit the gift into the travel industry. In one hand, the traditional culture can better understand and appreciates by a wider range of those who travelling the places. In the other hand, national economy can benefit from the culture travel. Relevant business, such as traffic sector, shop sector, hotel sector, can have a deep development. Finally, it can enrich people's live from trip to different place.it is a good way for the people have a nice holiday after work.

Nevertheless, some worried about it. They hold it will pollution the nation culture place, white trash can be saw everywhere in the place which were opened to the public, many trees were cut to build the hotel. Even more, some of the travelers like to carve their name at the place they had been to. And a large number of visitor also maybe a burden on the preservation of cultural relics.

In my mind, use it to attract tourists is good to develop the country economy. Of course, cultural heritage may be damaged in someway, however, it can be avoided as long as the local government powerful regulation and supervisions. And we can limit the number of visitors in some special sites everyday.

ecordo5 4 / 29  
Jan 6, 2011   #2
Watch the punctuation. There are many instances where you don't capitalize after a period. Try not to start a sentences with "And, Or, But". Overall, it's looking good towards a final draft. Also, I'm not sure if its germane to your topic, but have you heard of "culture shock"? It may be an important concept, depending on how you view it, to add to your overall essay. Thanks and I hope you can give me U of C supplement a check. ;p
riny 13 / 26  
Jan 7, 2011   #3
the traditional culture can better understand and appreciates

In On the other hand...you should not use repetition.

traffic sector, shop sector, hotel sector, can have a deep development
-how about...sector of infrastructure, industries and tourism can achiece significant development.

people's lives

some are worried about it
OP sakura0v0 1 / 3  
Jan 8, 2011   #4
thanks a lot
before the essay,l have never think about culture shock
it is a nice concept to put into the essay about culture
hylacy 4 / 16  
Jan 8, 2011   #5
In (On) one hand, the traditional culture can (be ) better understand (understood) and appreciates (appreciated) by a wider range of those who travelling the places.
waqar 1 / 3  
Jan 9, 2011   #6
i think it was good..

but try and explain your points a bit more and also you skipped to different points too much between the paragraphs...

i think ending was very good ...

good luck
waqar


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