Angga, I notice many improvements of your writing in compare to previous essays, particularly in terms of your essay-organization. The idea that you deliver is also very informative and clear. Yet, you still need more improvements in your grammar, especially when it comes to singular and plural issues, and you still make one mistake about your spelling, which I think it is unnecessary if you are more aware about that. Another suggestion for you is that, you need to state clearly that "the benefits are able to outweigh the drawbacks" to avoid misleading, because examiner is not a mind-reader. Lastly, for a detailed corrections of your grammatical issues, with corrections applied.
Considerable number of monitoring devices are
Considerable number of monitoring devices is / considerable numbers of monitoring devices are
rely this stages on modern
rely on the stage of modern...
Tracking devices also very helpful to locate the criminals so that
Tracking devices are also extremely helpful to locate the criminals, so the police...
and send back to their family.
unnecessary additional information, because your previous sentence is already clear.
surveillance devices is better
surveillance devices are better...
As you can see, I hope this is fruitful towards your development in the future essays.
Keep writing and good luck! :)