Unanswered [13] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Damage of the environment in terms of improving human living standard


MinhNguyen1996 1 / -  
Mar 21, 2015   #1
Topic: Damage of the environment is an inevitable consequence of worldwide improvements in the standard of living. Discuss.

It is argued that the development of human living standard will certainly damage the environment. In my opinion, I wholeheartedly disagree with this point of view because nature is the most important factor of the planet Earth and it requires serious attention and protection.

...

EF_Jasmine - / 68 39  
Mar 21, 2015   #2
It is argued that the development of human living standard(s) will certainly damage the environment.
... is the most important factor of the planet E earth and it requires serious attention and protection.( Please elaborate:)

On the one hand, there are several reasons why improving people(s) living condition(s) cause damage to the environment.

Another reason is that the waste of the process of (in) producing construction components ...
... having devastating effects on food chains of wildlife.( <This is a great detailed second paragraph)

On the other hand, although the process of developing living standard(s) do seem to damage the environment, governments and societies can take place steps to mitigate these problems through some these measures. Firstly , engineers should encourage and prioritise structures that integrate plants with accommodations so that people are able to feel closer with the nature and enjoy fresh environment. Secondly , governments should expend(the) national budget to construct more parks and public gardens in centre areas in order to reduce the level of air pollution and the impact of the greenhouse effect. Finally, we can motivate people to move to apartments by reducing the renting payments and fees. As people live in these accommodation(s), we could safe (save) more room on the ground and we need not to cut dow (and reduce cutting down) trees and plants which( as a result of damaging the environment) will compel them to the brink of extinction.

In conclusion, while the process of improving human living conditions seem to (harms) the environment, measures are available to tackle these problems and help. neither make it possible nor protect the environment of earth. <(Reword this last sentence it is confusing to read with the nor and neither combination)

Hi ! You have some great points about the environment. I enjoyed reading your point of view! Your second and third paragraphs were very detailed and well thought out. I added some edits and suggestions that may help you on your next draft. I would love more elaboration on your opening and closing( try to make it at least 4 sentences). Good luck on your revisions!


Home / Writing Feedback / Damage of the environment in terms of improving human living standard