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"The Danger of Silence" - Summary TED


Faridadwi18 67 / 104 13  
Aug 21, 2016   #1
Clint Smith is a teacher who challenge his student to explore the silence by poetry in order to feel safe in sharing information. He also a catholic and he always taught that people need to sacrifice something. He gave up on many things like energy drink, junk food and one day he gave up in speaking for a year. Finally he realized that he actually gave up on speaking a long time ago. He never told others about what people need but only told them what they wanted to hear. He also remembered that he unaware to homeless people and he just passed by and only looked at his phone pretend that he did not see anyone. He discovered that he need to change himself because silence is the residue of fear and he have to get rid of it. He decided to talk what people need to heard and talk freely because the effects of silence can lead to violence, discrimination and war.

Link : ted.com/talks/clint_smith_the_danger_of_silence?language=en#t-66711

akbarmappiare 31 / 469 275  
Aug 21, 2016   #2
Hi Farida..
These are my corrections
.


Clint Smith is a teacher who challengeS (Still Verb Agreement) his student
He also a catholic and he (if it has the same subject, you do not rewrite again. S V and V) always taught that
He gave up on many things like AN energy drink, junk food ... (Please, you rewrite this sentence. I have not got the meaning of your sentence. It make readers confused) .

He also remembered that he unaware to OF homeless people
He discovered that he needS to change himself because THE silence is the residue of fear and he have HAS to get rid of it.

He decided to talk what people need to heard HEAR and talk freely because ...

Note: you should reread your summary before you upload, so you can review the meaning of the summary. A few of sentences make the readers confused
ashelarisa48 36 / 52 4  
Aug 21, 2016   #3
Hi Ida! Very nice to see you in essay forum, hehe..
I am trying to give some feedback, here we go.

Clint Smith is a teacher who challenges his students to explore the silence ...

He gave up on many things like energy drink...
(I think you can use other word to change 'gave up' in order to not repeat it in other sentences. Also it will be better if you add some facts about what made Clint gave up in the beginning, it can make some sentences easier to understand)

... he unaware to homeless people and he just passed by and only looked ...

He decided to talk what people need to heard hear and talk freely ...

Hope it helps....
Fadhilahumar91 61 / 73 6  
Aug 21, 2016   #4
hi...

please re-correct when i have mistakes.
Clint Smith is a teacher who challenges his student to ...
He alsois a catholic and he alway taught that people ...
... energy drink, junk food and one day he gave up in speaking for a year.
Finally, he realized that he actually gave up on speaking for a long time ago.
He also remembered that he unaware to homeless people and he just passed by and only looked ...

He discovered that he need to who to change himself because silence is the residue of fear residue and he have to get rid of it.

... need to heard and talk freely, because the effects ...

thankyou


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