The most dangerous catastrophe in America

Obesity become the number one of killer that give rise to death. Bad lifestyle, less aware are the things cause this situation.

From pupils until adult in United State of America, all of them, do not care about what they eat, and almost the eatery offers fast food. Like a chain, people already rely on their comfort habit.

The fact is, all of food they eat having highly processed, lack of fresh food, additives, not enough veggies. And the result, they should spend much money in hospital because of decease, if they change their way to eat, sooner they will get health.

Some cases happened in pupils, the horrible things are they did not know the fundamental things, such as how to cook, name of veggies, and many more. if children can cook by their self, they would be love to eat fresh food than fast food, because cooking is interest and make them have more knowledge.

Finally, reducing patient of obesity can begin from health lifestyle. Parents have role to educate their children to consume food made by their self.

Hi Giansy
Let me give you some advice...

Obesity become (becomes) the number one of (a) killer that give ...

From pupils until adult in (the) United State of America...
... spend much money in(the) hospital because of decease(disease) , if they change ...

Parents have (the) role to educate their children ...

Obesity has become [using present perfect] the number one of killer [what killer? you may need to say'killer disease' ] that giveS rise to death. pay attention in some basic grammatical rules, particularly subject+verb agreement or singular/plural issue

Bad lifestyle, less aware are the things cause this situation.bad lifestyle and less awareness about healthiness are the causes of this situation.

poor paragraphing and coherence. you need to train to compose your summary in form of one or more paragraph with a good flow/coherence rather than mention sentence one by one


most of pupils and adult American citizens do not care about what they eat while their dietary consists mainly by fast foods

The fact is, all of food they eat havinghave been highly processed, lack of freshnessfood , contain additives, and not enoughless veggies. Andasthe result, they shouldmight spend much money ...

,... sooner they will get healthy.

Some horrible cases happened in pupilsstudents , the horrible things are since they did not know ...

attach the link of article you summarized or do not change the article title so that we can also read the source