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Ielts: Dangerous sports are an invisible killer - threatening games should be forbidden.


lourance 2 / 2  
Oct 8, 2014   #1
Dangerous sports are an invisible killer. For this reason, certain individuals consider that athletes should participate to this kind of sports to become wealthy. Although adventure sports are perceived as the fastest approach to become rich, I would argue that human life is undoubtedly costly, so such life threatening games should be illegal. This easy will examine the positive and adverse aspects of dangerous sports.

There are numerous reasons why a large number of individuals consider dangerous sports should not be banned. One of these reasons is fame. Fame is difficult factor to be obtained by individuals. Therefore, a large number of individuals seek to play these dangerous sports in order to attain high status in society, admiration as well as many fans. Another reason that urges individuals to engage in such sports is finance. Money is extremely significant to many people. Therefore, some individuals consider life treating games such as bullfighting and wrestling games are reliable method to gain fast wealth. A large number of competitions offer millions of dollars and precious prize such as cars and gold, so engaging in such sports is priceless opportunity.

However, dangerous sports are the main cause of lifelong risks. Thus, certain individuals approve that life treating games should be illegal. There are many reasons why dangerous sports should be banned.One of these reasons is permanent disability. Some kind of sports such as car racing, boxing may expose athletes to the danger of serious injuries that have no cure such as Concussion and dumbness. Moreover, they can cause death when players carry out fatal sports such as bungee jumping and running with the bulls. Another reason is dangerous sports can threaten the lives of audience/viewers during competitions. Car racing and horse racing are an example of such sports. During the race, certain objects such as horses or cars probably deviate toward audiences and cause harmful injuries or death to the them.

In summary, life is more precious than money because money can be retrievable, but life is irrecoverable. For this reason, adventure sports should be prohibited.

I hope to assist me to find my grammatical errors and also give me your evaluation A B C D or F to my easy if you like.

best wishes to you

ilufatsy16 2 / 3 1  
Oct 8, 2014   #2
Fame is difficult factor = Fame is a difficult factor (lack of article)
a large number of individuals : repetitive, you should change this phrase
attain high status: it is not a collocation
Some kind of sports such as car racing, boxing may expose athletes to the danger of serious injuries that have no cure such as Concussion and dumbness: you should make it clearer! It is too general
zzwestmanzz 3 / 4 1  
Oct 8, 2014   #3
For this reason, certain individuals consider that athletes should participate to this kind of sports to become wealthy. Although adventure sports are perceived as the fastest approach to become rich, I would argue that human life is undoubtedly costly, so such life threatening games should be illegal.

Repetition here. I think you should make it short. Maybe:" Meanwhile, certain individuals consider that athletes should participate to threatening games to become wealthy, I would argue that these kind of sports should be illegal".

Therefore, some individuals consider life treating games such as bullfighting and wrestling games are reliable method to gain fast wealth
some individuals consider life treating games such as bullfighting and wrestling games as reliable method to gain fast wealth
Car racing and horse racing are an example of such sports. During the race, certain objects such as horses or cars probably deviate toward audiences and cause harmful injuries or death to the them.

Take car racing and horse racing as examples, during the race, ...


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