The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit.
What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?
Smoking has become omnipresent these days. Yet the harm of this behaviour is unpredictable as well as uncontrollable, it is not hard to find people smoking in public places. This problem is largely attributed to these following reasons.
The main reason the leads people to using cigarettes is social pressure. Some people started smoking since they were teenagers just because they are scared to be "the others" and isolated, so they do it to fit in the group. Furthermore, cigars contain poisonous chemicals that bring addiction to who smoke and make giving it up beyond the bounds
The next one to be named in this blacklist is "low price". Since being put on the map, cigarettes have been made cheaper than ever. Subsequently, consumers get more and more accessible to smoking. In any convenient store, it might not be be hard to see a plenty of kind of cigarettes, being on sale with the price under 5 dollars - a tiny number to any employed grown-ups.
From the aforementioned factors ,we can make significant improvements to put paid to this lamentable reality. Noticeably, the first thing to do appears to be putting up a higher price. This help lowering the accessibility to cigarettes and will indubitably play a crucial role in reducing the number of consumers . Moreover, more rehabs should be put into use in order to give people hoping to quit smoking a hand. Laws about being charged of smoking in public should also be brought in advance to deter people from it.
To cut the long story short, it is evidentially obvious that there are innumerable reasons for people keeping smoking in public and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem. It is not enough to provide information only about health risks and diseases, it is also important to inform people about how harmful this habit can be to the environment
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The paraphrase does not restate the original topic, nor any responses to the direct questions. The prompt restatement + question response presentation are both incorrect and inaccurate. So lacking is this paragraph, that it only restates one of the two direct questions provided, rather than both questions. This shows that the writer has a problem with explaining topics based on his own wording. This is a TA problem.
Properly connecting reasons in a paragraph presentation is also a problem. There is no proper connection indicated between peer pressure and poisonous chemicals that cause addiction to cigarettes.
As this is a causes and solutions essay, only one paragraph for connected causes is needed. The next paragraph should have been a solution presentation already. This is still a 4 paragraph format essay.
The first sentence of the solution paragraph is confusing and does not make sense to a native English speaker. Try to keep yhe presentation easy to understand by using simple worded presentations. Do not translate word for word from the vernacular.