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The data of an average Australian household electricity use and heat-trapping coal emissions CHARTS


amy_nyk 2 / 2  
Mar 11, 2020   #1

IELTS Cambridge 10 Test 1 Writing Task 1


written by Amy Ng


The charts depict the data of an average Australian household electricity use and heat-trapping coal emissions.

Overall, since most Australian people consume energy in heating and water-heating, the emissions are high percentage. Cooling and lighting takes fewer energy. Therefore, there are less emissions.

Firstly, heating and water heating are the most used in Australian households, which are 30% and 42%. Next, 15% of residents use energy in other applications. Last, refrigeration, cooling and lighting take the lowest energy, which is under 10%.

Secondly, the highest percentage of greenhouse gas emissions is water-heating. And then other appliances are 28%. Refrigeration and heating have similar gas emissions, which are 14% and 15%. Finally, cooling and lighting also are under 10%, which is 3% and 8%, analogous to the first chart. It also highlights that there is tight relationship between energy usage and greenhouse gas emission.

**the chart is included in file 1.**
Please leave some comment. Thank you.



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,635 3478  
Mar 11, 2020   #2
Sorry Amy, I refuse to review your essay. It would be unfair of me to tell you what you did wrong in writing and how to correct it. I just cannot bring myself to do it because you only wrote 143 out of 150 words. The essay will receive severe points deductions for the lacking words. Then, the examiner will consider the other mistakes in your writing and apply another set of deductions for every grading rubic. By the end of his assessment, you will not have passed the test with the remaining scores that he decided to give you for every scoring consideration. You have to write at least 150 words or risk failing the test. I'll give you another chance. Write a new Task 1 topic essay and post it here. It is only fair that we review your work based on a more accurate representation of your writing skills, based on the minimum word count. I know you can do it. You showed some of those abilities in the essay. You have the potential to write well, but you seem to be afraid of writing more words. Don't let the words scare you. Just keep writing. Provided you stay within the 20 minute limit, you should be able to get a decent grade for your work.


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