Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 5

A day to spend the way you wish


modakindia 1 / 1  
Jun 10, 2014   #1
Suppose you get a day to spend the way you wish. Write 10 sentences on how you would like to spend it.

[Acknowledgement: Thread - "If you had a day to spend as you wish, how would you use your time?"]

A day to spend as I wish would start with making a big, wholesome breakfast with my family. We would discuss what we had dreamed about that night, what we had read in the news, and what we were doing that day.

Then I would head over to one of my friends' houses to relax. After raiding the kitchen cabinets and the refrigerator, we would begin to play some sort of indoor game. Then we would talk and laugh and flirt with each other. After hours of joking and laughter of all sorts, I would leave to go back to my house.

In the evening we will either play a board game such as Trivial Pursuit or the family would just watch a movie together in the living room. Then I would be sitting on the couch with my mother with my head in her lap, as she would tell me stories of my childhood.

The night would end with me crawling into my bed. I would slowly doze off into a wonderful dream to just wake up to another perfect day.

Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jun 10, 2014   #2
Looks good. But if you can, some details would be nice where the words are in red. Like, what is the perfect "wholesome breakfast"? Who is in your family? What indoor game? What movie?
nitex 1 / 14 4  
Jun 12, 2014   #3
Hi Didgeridoo, can you help me with my personal statement as well ? I know its a long one but I would really appreciate and needed your help :( Please~

My thread is on "The feeling of wanting to know computers; Personal statement for admission to CS" ><
nitex 1 / 14 4  
Jun 12, 2014   #4
you can describe more into the details to let the reader "picture" it more ^^


Home / Writing Feedback / A day to spend the way you wish