These days authorities are becoming more concerned with museums and the worthy works remained during the history; as a result, they need people to be charged not only to protect and present these cultural heritage adequately, but psychologically also the payment encourages visitors to learn more about the place. Although ticket buying reduces number of visitors, I believe the benefits outweigh the costs.
Firstly, the supply and maintenance costs are a mandatory of any long-life businesses or organizations. That is why I believe museums need to receive the entrance fee. Take the government of Iran, which suffers from shortage of budget especially in the recent years, for example. If the cultural heritage is totally dependent on governmental charge, the cutbacks of cultural spending will adversely affect the safekeeping of these historical valuable works. Consequently, museums should profit from a stable source of income which is accumulated by visitors charging.
Secondly, according to the recent opinion poll carried out by a private sector, an overwhelming majority of people pays more attention to a subject which is charged them. Accordingly, this fee-based ticket scheme not only financially supports museums, but ironically also benefits visitors because the payment mentally forces them to become more enthusiastic to know the ins and outs of the visited items.
On the other hand, entrance ticket expectedly decreases number of individuals who are eager to visit the place. Some experts opine that since cultural heritage is where bulk of information about our country's history and culture lies there, government has to subsidize this area. Therefore, government will benefit from this long-term policy if entrance to these cultural exhibitions is free of charge.
To recapitulate, I hold still the view that disadvantages of admission fee are overshadowed by its advantages, if the income occurring from admission is plowed back to maintenance and development of the museums.
Mersad, it is really nice to read your writing. You have addressed all parts of the task well, which you also present a clear position throughout the response. Yet, there were still some of the supporting ideas were lack focuses, and not strong enough. Especially, the second body paragraph (secondly,.....), in that part, you accidentally only created two sentences in which will be considered as a 'weak' body paragraph. This will damage your coherence and cohesion score. Perhaps my suggestion is that you can make 1 introduction, 2 'strong' body paragraphs (instead of three paragraphs), 1 conclusion paragraph.
With regards to lexical resource, I do really like yours. You have successfully used less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation. Also, you have used a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision. Then, for grammatical range and accuracy part, it is very good that you were able to compose a variety of complex structures, which most of them were error-free. It shows that you have a good control of grammar and punctuation.
That's it Mersad, I hope you can follow through my feedback :)
Dear Mersad I hope this finds you well.
You present a good kind of writing. I love the way you explain your argumentation, very softly also clearly.
"Accordingly, this fee-based ticket scheme not only financially supports museums... ."
It will make a bewilderment among the readers, actually i dont understand what are you trying to serve.
Take the government of Iran, which suffers from shortage of ...
In hindsight, you have to taking an attention to your structure. I have seen in the middle of this paragraph, you seems puzzling with your opinion. Like "Take the government of iran......." and you said "for example: again. i think it was clear enough to show the readers with one straighly example sentences. if you dont mind, i have a predilection to my own writing structure ; An opinion,..... Your Explaination,... Exampple and one brief to summarize the paragraph.
Overall, it is a good job.
i hope you can understand my feedback.
Dear @ichanpants89 and @Btihbk11 thank you all for your so constructive comments.
