In this day and age
Use of a memorized phrase will be a score deduction in the TA section. Avoid using place holder phrases as you were taught in your English classes. Learn to write at a college, rather than high school level, which is what the use of this phrase indicates(HS level writing).
driven by myriad reasons and some adverse impacts could have on individuals.
One idea per sentence. Seperate the response presentations. Do not use a run-on presentation as it will be deducted from your GRA score. Additionally, provide correct responses that used topic statements to represent your responses. That way, the thesis statement or discussion foundation requirement will be met. A non-definitive response tends to not be given a high score due to empty logic and thought presentations.
There are two underlying reasons
You specifically said "2 reasons". Review the paragraph, you only presented one reason. Therefore, the paragraph is under developed and not fully discussed based on the stated basis. Avoid referring to the number of discussion points so that when you forget or fail to present the second topic, your essay will not be given an under-developed score.
The second reasoning paragraph has no completely developed explanation either. The writer wrote fast, but did not try to develop the explanation to a believable state. The main problem in this essay is the thought and explanation development.