Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 11

Dear John, look after my house and pet - IELTS letter


rawbin 1 / 3  
Jul 25, 2012   #1
Need Help:

I am appearing for IELTS test and need feedback about my writing. So, can you please provide some feedback.

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter

- give contact details for which you are away
- give instructions about how to care for your pet
- describe other household duties


Dear John,

I am so happy that you are ready to look after my house and pet while I am away on holiday for two weeks. In the case of emergency you can call me in the hotel where I am staying and the number is +610430919454. Else, you can even ring to my cousin Chris whose number is +977043092343.

One of the big black dog is having problem with the right leg so you need to give medicine and you can find it in the drawer of store room. And, others need shower after every two days, hope you won't mind doing it.

In the kitchen, there is a rubbish bag, which you need to put outside of the house as a result municipality can take it away on Monday morning. The other important thing is paying the electricity bill for the month of June. There is money on top of the fridge along with the electricity bill.

I really appreciate your help and co-operation.

Warm regards,
Merry Smith

April April 13 / 148 22  
Jul 26, 2012   #2
In the case of an emergency you can call me inat the hotel where I amwill be staying and the number is +610430919454. Or Else, you can even ring to my cousin Chris whose number isMy suggestion:at(so that you don't repeat "number" twice in 1 sentence) +977043092343.

One of the big black dogs is having a problem with the right leg so you need to give him medicine and you can find it in the drawer of store room. AndBesides , the others need shower ...

which you need to put outside of the house as a resultso that the municipality can take it away

Best
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jul 26, 2012   #3
I am so happy that you are ready toagreed to look after my house and pet while I am away on holiday for two weeks.
bhalwalin - / 1  
Jul 26, 2012   #4
i am so happy that, your are agreed to look after my house and pet while i will be away for two weeks.
Rubbish bags are need to put away on Sunday night, because Council truck normally comes on Monday morning.

The other important thing is to pay an electricity bill for the month of June, i will put the due amount next to electricity bill on the top of fridge in kitchen room.

your cooperation and help in this matter will be highly appreciated.
OP rawbin 1 / 3  
Jul 27, 2012   #5
Thank you everybody for such a valuable feedback. Do anybody have idea about the IELTS grade for this letter ?
veragof 2 / 4  
Jul 27, 2012   #6
You have posted your essay about advertisement in my thread but while i was writing my comments to help you you had already deleted your the essay there.

I think that probably my recommendation and corrections would be helpful somehow. But i do not know how to send them to you and i am posting them here.

Some people think it is leading them in a wrong way which that encourages us to buy things which we really do not need.

I strongly agree it makes our life will be happier and improved.

So, I will for more detailed information about it.

But others think it is a way of getting information about new products in the market which improves our lives. I strongly agree it makes our life will be happier and improved .

it is better to avoid repeating. how about these? "which benefit our lives" or "it make our lives happier and easier" or "it makes our lives better and comfortable"

I think that conclusion is too short. I guess it must be three sentences.
you wrote there: "advertisement is ...the information desk,..." then "people know..." , and it is correct and you sum up the advertisement's benefits in general, overall and logically you have to say something like "I believe..." or "from my opinion..". You should restate or emphasize your personal viewpoint again.

Good luck!
OP rawbin 1 / 3  
Jul 28, 2012   #7
Thank you very much for your feedback. It is very helpful for me to correct my writing.
viviana15077 7 / 21  
Jul 28, 2012   #8
if this is an informal writing, I think you need to write the receiver's address at the upper right corner.

You can say ---- I can be reached at (contact number)
OP rawbin 1 / 3  
Jul 31, 2012   #9
Thanks Vivian.
hiren46 2 / 3  
Aug 12, 2012   #10
Hi Vivian,
I doubt about the receiver's address as you have mentioned. I think there is no need to write address in IELTS letter.
Msx punk 2 / 15  
Aug 14, 2012   #11
Hiren, yes you're right. There is no need to write address in IELTS letter.


Home / Writing Feedback / Dear John, look after my house and pet - IELTS letter