Unanswered [3]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


The Death Penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?



Mandamy 1 / -  
Oct 3, 2024   #1
Although the death penalty violates one's human right to live, to some people it is an efficient way to decrease the rate of serious crimes. While others think it's the opposite, however, in my opinion, it's a useful way to stop criminality, but it is not always the best method .

To begin, it's undeniable that the death is penalty is partly useful for reducing dangerous crimes since it prevents them from occurring. Because of its mercilessness, lots of people tend to fear the death sentence. Therefore, to restrain from committing any law breaking and behave themselves in public. Moreover, less violence individuals will be removed from society ensuring one place safety from transgressions. For instance, China still uses the death penalty as a punishment and it's helped lower the country's crime rate than other countries.

On the contrary, this kind of punishment can cause disagreement and unfairness because there are situations when a murderer commits a crime, his mind completely governed with emotions and can't think about the consequences he would face.For example, a person when at risk of being harmed, especially his own life, his mind may lose control of his emotions and commit murder accidentally. Which is why a number of folks are considered as cruel, and as mentioned it also disregards a human right to live.

In conclusion, personally, capital punishment is partly effective to reduce serious crimes rate with the above reasons. However, it is too cruel and fast for criminals since it doesn't give them the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. Instead life imprisoned would be an altered opinion for it's long time, then will the felons regret their actions.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15439  
Oct 4, 2024   #2
Although the death penalty violates one's human right to live,

I realize that this is your personal opinion and it is essential to the presentation. However, you cannot use it to open the first paragraph since that section is reserved for the prompt rephrasing. You may include that statement in your writer's opinion presentation as a part of your thesis statement though. I am sad to say that your first paragraph will cause the eventual failing score of the essay for 2 reasons:

1. The incorrect prompt restatement
2. The unrelated response format that you used for the writer's opinion section

The final reason that this essay will not receive a passing score is because you used a comparison discussion format in the reasoning paragraphs where a single opinion defense using 2 supporting reasons was the expected discussion format.
nateq136 2 / 3  
Oct 4, 2024   #3
After reading your essay, I have some feedback:
- Firstly, regarding the GRA, there are several awkward sentences like "Which is why a number of folks are considered as cruel" which can be better replaced with "This is why many people consider such individuals as cruel", you should focus on the meaning of the sentence, avoid making it nonsense
- You repeated some words like "penalty" or "crime", you can find another word that can replace them to improve the Lexical Resource Score

Overall, while you've structured your essay quite logically, there are still some awkward expressions. To improve, you should focus on expanding your arguments, enhancing your idea expression by reading some writing samples (e.g. Simon), try to upgrade your vocabulary.

I hope this could help you.
Edukid2309 4 / 6  
Oct 5, 2024   #4
The essay is well-structured and effective, regardless of some grammar mistakes. Perhaps the contradiction part may need more relevant examples as there are countless cases of criminals having their sentences reduced, as your main idea also relates to the unnecessity of death penalty, preventing what you want to say from being overshadowed
Helen335 4 / 7  
Oct 8, 2024   #5
In the sentence 'To begin, it's undeniable that the death is penalty is partly useful for reducing dangerous crimes,' there is a grammatical error. It should be 'the death penalty' instead of 'the death is penalty.' Additionally, consider rephrasing 'it's helped lower the country's crime rate than other countries' to 'it has helped lower the country's crime rate compared to other countries' for clarity.


Home / Writing Feedback / The Death Penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳