IELTS TASK 2: WHO DECIDE TO CHOOSE SUBJECT FOR CHILDREN

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The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is inevitable that subjects have essential roles in forming the ideal pursuits for children in forward education. Therefore, the decision about selecting subjects for standard curriculum has led to a debate of whether teachers or central authorities would shoulder such vital responsibility. As far as I am concerned, it is certainly the educational ministry that would involve in this issue rather than teachers' participation.

First and foremost, the governments' duty should be to decide the necessary subjects and skills needed for the development of economy and society. Therefore, the significance in choosing appropriate subjects is more critical so as to provide a well-rounded education for students. Via main subjects, optional subjects and mandatory examinations, individuals' ability would be accurately assessed in order to flourish a new generation which will later contribute to their country. Hence, the performance of teachers is currently to deliver well-prepared lessons to children rather than bearing this task.

Furthermore, educational ministry would consider establishing standardization among the curricular system. Apparently, the dominant authorities' role is to ensure the quality of schooling throughout the country by proposing some fixed subjects applied in schools. On the contrary, if teachers participate in this duty, it would certainly lead to the issue of exceeding variations in standards and qualifications, moreover, making ill-advised curriculum changes.

To conclude, it is true that the responsibility for choosing subjects should be certainly of the governments to make proper approach to forward benefits of the children.

This would sound more clear and nicer if you expressed in direct speech. Passive voice is not so powerful in convincing your ideas. Also, shorten the length of your sentence to enhance clarity of your ideas;

Therefore, who should choose the subjects for curriculum has been always a debate. Some argue that teachers should handle this task, but some others view that it should be handled by the authorities.

impressive :) ... good start for your body para :)
However, I do not find any specific example for your justification on your opinion. It is a must feature for you to score a decent score for this task.

It is nicer if you could construct this into:
1. a 'conclusion' signal: In conclusion, ....etc,
2. a summary of the main points or a restatement of the thesis (in different words!)
3. a final comment, based on the information in the essay
The final comment can be:
3.1. a warning or prediction (often using the first conditional: If ..., ... will ...)
3.2. a suggestion or recommendation (often using should or must)