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Decisions should not be influenced by emotions - proper logic and reasoning behind it is necessary


helloworld2016 1 / -  
Jan 31, 2016   #1
I have started with my GRE preparation. Could you please tell me where i stand with regard to my essay writing skills. This my my first essay on a GRE topic.

TOPIC: People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers.If you have any idea about how this is graded on the GRE please tell me how much I might get for this essay.Thank you!

and here is my essay....

We are who we are because of the decisions we make. Life is full of choices, everyone has the freedom to choose. Taking the right decisions is very essential.

Decisions should be made with a clarity in mind. A lot of thought and logic should be put into before taking decisions.Hasty decisions most of the time prove to be wrong.There are times when one comes across very frustrating and emotional situations, at such times a person is in ambiguous state of mind and decisions taken at such times would lead to unwanted mess in life.

One such situation that commonly encounters many of our lives is an unbearable failure in life which leads many people to take the most cowardly decision of attempting suicide. Many students in India are pressurized to study well and get good grades. The pressure is often times so much that many students once they get their results and if they see the word "fail" they breakdown emotionally and make the most hasty decision of committing suicide. This leaves the parents in an irreparable guilt.

Another such situation is in sports. Many a times in the newspaper we get to see that the cricketers were spotted fighting on field.They later get into match-fixing to win over the opposite team. When this scam finally comes into limelight they speak logically to justify their decisions.The decisions that they took when they were angry only backfire them.In such situations they can be said to be horrible decision makers.

Due to the fear of certain situations some people make hasty decisions which they later answer with logic to cover up the obvious-that they are poor decision makers. To avoid doing so one must understand that decisions should not be influenced by emotions rather should be taken with proper logic and reasoning behind it.
Ethanchen1998 8 / 18 6  
Jan 31, 2016   #2
Hey Keerhana, I have found some simple grammar mistakes. In your writing, you made statements and conclusions too quickly, without explanation and evidence. Without supporting with evidence, readers can be easily confused. Words could be use with different choice or synonyms as it might become too repetitive (such, hasty, situation). I think with what you have for now, you can get (2 or 3/6). I believe if you add more evidence to your writing and fix your grammar mistake, can definitely improve your mark! Good luck!

Some grammar mistakes.

....in an ambiguous state of mind

they break down emotionally

....on the field.

Due to the fear of certain situations, some people make hasty

Suggestions for grammar and sentence structures
Replace "situation" with "example", and remove such

One such situation

Another such situation is in sports.

For example, /Sports are another example as well,

Hasty decisions most of the time prove to be wrong .

What do you mean by wrong? Expend/explain.

The pressure is often times so much that many students once they get their results and if they see the word "fail" they breakdown emotionally and make the most hasty decision of committing suicide.

Many students break down emotionally when they are notify of their failure in education. In result, while under pressure, hasty decision can be easily made and committing suicide is often the case.

Another such situation is in sports. Many a times [...] to be horrible decision makers.

I found this paragraph awkward and confusing, not sure what you trying to say.

Many a times in the newspaper we get to CAN see that the cricketers were spotted fighting on field.

Crickets fighting on the field can often be found in the newspaper.

To avoid doing so one must understand that decisions should not be influenced by emotions rather should be taken with proper logic and reasoning behind it.

In order to make good decisions, one's understanding about making decisions should be taken with proper logic and reasoning behind it, rather than influenced by emotions.


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