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Decisions makers should not based their choice on emotions


s61001234 7 / 15  
Jun 6, 2015   #1
I would appreciate some feedback and, if possible, give me a grade out of the 1-6 scale.This draft is written under a time-constraint without spellcheck. Previously, people said that my writings is not coherent enough. They suggested me to work on connecting my supporting paragraphs to my thesis. I tried, but it is still difficult to do so under time constraint.

Once again, thank you so much!

---prompt--
People who make decisions based on emotion and justify those decisions with logic afterwards are poor decision makers.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


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I agree that decisions makers should not based their decision on emotions first then justify it with reasoning afterward. Making decisions based on emotions first would often result in negative consequences. Because, they fail to evaluate the situation enough and their logic to support it may be flawed

When people make decisions based on emotions first, they tend to evaluate the situation enough, resulting in failures. To illustrate, Napolean believed that his army was indefeatable. Having this conviction, he decided to invade Russia despite the harsh cold winter. As a result of his haughty emotion, he failed to evaluate how detrimental the low temperature would cost his troop. Eventually, he lost tens of thousands of men and the battle. Should he have evaluated the circumstance and justify it with logic first, he may have won the battle and prevented his soilders from freezing to death. However, his emotional impulse prompted him to make a costly decision.

Even if emotion-based decisions are justified with reasoning later, the reasoning tend to be flawed. The United States invasion of Afghanistan served as an example how President Bush and the public was kidnapped by sentiment to avenge the Taliban of blowing up the world trade center. Indeed, the 911 incident is an tragedy that cannot be tolerated. However, it remains debatable whether the US should have launch a war against the Taliban to avenge themselves and to capture Bin Laden. At the beginning, the public sentiments was fervent in giving the Taliban and Bin Laden a lesson. The government then sent troops there based on this emotion and justified that this is to liberate the Afghani from the Taliban's oppression and to avenge the crime of 911. However, they failed to evaluate thoroughly the cost of the war and the instability of the state after the Taliban was overthrown. Now, even though the Taliban is overthrown and Bin Laden was executed, the Afghanistan is in a turmoil with warlords everywhere. Meanwhile, the US has sacrificed hundreds of soldiers while spending billions of dollar on this war based first on emotions. Should the leadership then have evaluated other diplomatic strategy or smaller scale of occupation, the US wouldn't have cost so many lives and budget.

Some may argue that certain decisions are difficult to justify with reasoning in the first place, especially with decisions that are based on morality. Opponents may give the example of Abraham Lincoln who started the civil war based on his emotions and beliefs of equality for all. However, Mr. Lincoln also supported his decision of the civil war that a nation cannot stand when it treats its people unequally based on the color of their skin. He quoted the declerataion of independence and developed a logical argument to substantiate his decision. These were developed while he has these sentiments instead of after the decisions were made.

Overall, decisions should be made based on logical reasoning or else it will risk negative cons

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jun 7, 2015   #2
I have suggested minimal changes. There were some mistakes, but the paper is coherent.

1st paragraph: Decisions shouldn't be plural. Delete the -s. Base should be in the present tense. Delete the "d" in base. A general rule I try to stick to is to avoid starting a sentence with "because". You could replace it with decision makers. You could rearrange the 2nd and third sentence in this paragraph, because the 2nd sentence describes emotions and will lead into the next paragraph.

2nd paragraph: You need to clarify that there is a tendency not to evaluate situations if people act on their emotions. Indefeatable should be undefeatable. Justify should be in the past tense.

3rd paragraph: Tend should be tends. The key to using the word "an" in a sentence is looking at the first letter in the next word. If it begins with a vowel use "an" rather than "a". If it is a consonant, use "a" instead.

Many of the errors are minor in detail because you are not staying in the past tense. For example, launch should be in the past tense. You use "sentiments was" rather than "sentiments were".

The 2nd sentence toward the end of the paragraph: Delete "a" before turmoil, add -s to dollar, and delete first.

4th paragraph: Historical documents should be capitalized. The last two sentences need to be revised. I was confused by the ending.
BlueBabey 3 / 8 2  
Jun 8, 2015   #3
Hello, I saw quite a few grammatical errors, so I hope that my feedback can be helpful to you! <3

Besides all of the small errors, you provided plenty of examples to back your opinion. Your paragraphs are well organized too. Although I would suggest working on your vocabulary.

You asked to be rated on a scale of 1-6, I would personally have to say that this would be about a 3 or 4 .

I hope I have helped you! Good Luck! <3


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