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Declined trends about elephant's population number, between 1997 and 2004, in most Asian countries


mem77 62 / 98 6  
Nov 11, 2016   #1
Bar Chart : Estimated Maximum of Asian Elephant's Population

A breakdown of the information about the alteration maximum of Asian elephant's population in nine different Asia countries between 1997 and 2004 is shown in the bar chart. Overall, with the exception of Cambodia and Laos, all of countries showed declined trends about elephant's population during period.

According to the chart, by 1997, India had the highest proportion of elephant's population and it was continued in the next period. A large gap was showed in Malaysia proportion by 3,000 and around 1,000 in 1997 and 2004 respectively. Similarly, it was followed by Thailand rates in 1997 (about 4,000) and roughly 1,000 in 2004 which showed a widened gap.

A more detailed look at the graph revealed that China had the least proportion of elephant's community by 1,000 in 1997 and below 1,000 in 2004. In contrast, Cambodia proportion was experienced an inclined trend in 1997 and 2004 by 1,000 and 1,500 respectively. Other countries were performed only a small proportion.



nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 12, 2016   #2
Hi @mem77, these are my thought towards your essay

1. ... information about the alteration maximum of Asian elephant's population
[i think it would be better if you write ' the alteration of maximum number of Asian elephant's population ]
2. all of countries showed declineddecline trends about ...

thankyou and goodluck
Dioba 68 / 104 7  
Nov 13, 2016   #3
Hi,what a good summary, but let me give several advice, perhaps useful for you.
1. Good introduction, but you forget to put about the measurement in introduction sentence ( for instance : percent, million ). In the bar chart, the measurement is the number.

the essential elements in introduction are paraphrase the question and the measurement.
2. ... information about the alteration maximumthe maximum alteration of Asian elephant's (...) between 1997 and 2004 that is shown in ...
Keep writing and break a leg!


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