do my structre of sentences is good?
Well, what I notice throughout your essay is that you tend to include many new key words, but they are not the appropriate words most of the time. For example;
They consider affording requirement stuff of children is just their responsible.
"requirement stuff" is not a correct usage and the reader gets confused by such phrases. You can say this in a simpler way;
Some parents consider that providing the basic requirements to their children is their only responsibility.The following paragraphs, I will indicate how parents are best teacher in distinction stages of our growing.
"indicate"(point out) is not the appropriate word here. It's too narrow in meaning to be used here. Also "distinction stages" does not mean anything. It's a very confusing phrase :(
I suggest you to start writing simple sentences with the words you are very confident. Also read other good essays in this forum that help you get familiar with the vocabulary usage and essay points.