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TOEFL Essay: How to define Happiness


williamcosta 2 / 2  
Oct 16, 2012   #1
I have test in few days Please give detailed feedback.so that At least I should be able to avoid basic mistakes and maintain a good structure

Happiness is considered very important in life.Why is it difficult to define?What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Everyone wants to be happy in this world. While different people may define happiness in different ways, there are certain factors which are important to achieve happiness.

There is a wide variety of definitions of happiness. Some people describe it as the achievement of personal goals, whereas others define it as the acquisition of professional goals.

Some individuals feel happy when they have intimate relations with friends and family members, while others become happy when they buy a new car, a new house and similar luxury items. In other words, the latter group of people feels happy if it has a lot of wealth. Also, there is another group of people which derives happiness from spiritual wellbeing. Meaning that such people become satisfied and happy by indulging in spiritual activities. To illustrate this, xxx, an Australian singer, sings mystic songs. He once revealed on a TV channel that he becomes happy and feels closer to GOD when he does so. It is therefore evident that definition of happiness of happiness varies from person-to-person.

Certain factors can make people feel happier. Perhaps the most important of these is having intimate relations with family members. If all the members of a family are understanding and polite towards each other, life becomes happier and full of comfort. To illustrate this, in the USA, divorce rate is on the increase. The most obvious reason for this is that there is a lack of understanding between married couples. Another factor is having supporting friends. After family members friends are the most important people in a person's life. Friends are always expected to give support whenever needed. To enlighten this, I once needed to pay for the school fees but I didn't have enough money to do so. I remember that my friend raised money from the class students to pay for my fees. After that I always feel satisfied and happy as I am confident that my friends will be there to help whenever I need it. It is therefore apparent that that family and friends are contributing factors in our happiness.

In conclusion, I would like to restate that the views of people lie over a wide spectrum of area. Nonetheless, I do believe that everyone can achieve happiness if they have good relations with friends and the members of family.
mahsaa 2 / 5  
Oct 16, 2012   #2
Some individuals feel happy when they have intimate relations (relationship) with (their) friends and family members, while others become happy when they buy a new car, a new house and similar luxury items. In other words, the latter group of people feels happy if (they could make a fortune) it has a lot of wealth. Also, there is another group of people which derives happiness from spiritual wellbeing (well-being). Meaning that such people become satisfied and happy by indulging in spiritual activities. To illustrate this, xxx, an Australian singer, sings mystic songs. He once revealed on a TV channel that he becomes (became) happy and feels (felt) closer to GOD when he does so . It is therefore evident that definition of happiness of happiness varies from person-to-person.

Certain factors can make people feel happier. Perhaps the most important of these (those) is having intimate relations with family members. If all the members of a family are understanding and polite towards each other, life becomes happier and full of comfort. To illustrate this, in the USA, divorce rate is on the increase (nice expresion). The most obvious reason for this is that there is a lack of understanding between married couples. Another factor (for what?, it is better to say secondly) is having supporting friends. After family members friends are the most important (significant) people (individuals) in a person's life (in one's life). Friends are always expected to give support whenever needed. To enlighten this, I once needed to pay for the school fees but I didn't (did not) have enough money to do so (I was not able to pay it). I remember that my friend (-s) raised money from the class students to pay for my fees. After that I always feel (felt) satisfied and happy as I am confident that my friends will be there to help whenever I need it. It is therefore apparent that that family and friends are (of most important role in making happiness) contributing factors in our happiness.

In conclusion, I would like to restate (recapitate) that the views of people lie over a wide spectrum of area. Nonetheless, I do believe that everyone can achieve happiness if they have good relations with friends and the members of family.

Dear friend,
I prefered to mention some synonyms with the words you use them a lot.
Wish u the best


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