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Definition of Education-Need filter words & eliminate repetition paragrap.


babydoll 8 / 39  
Mar 26, 2008   #1
I hope I gave enough information for your assistance here.

The main purpose I need improvement for this assignment in my Essay here. Need to answer the question and relate my experiences in this essay. Heres the assignment.

Essay #2: Definition

Your next essay is *question #2 page 132 of the Blair Reader: Write an essay in which you develop a definition of either a good teaching or a good education. If you choose the definition of good teaching, you might consider the relationship of the teacher to the class, the standards teacher should use to evaluate students, and what students should gain from their educational experience. If you choose to define what a good education is, you might look at what is necessary content of a good education. Perhaps an angle of analysis would be that a good education teaches you to think critically. Another might be that a good education cannot exist in the absence of the teaching of values and ethics. Make sure the essay is focused and fully develops the main idea. Back up your ideas with specific examples, personal experience, and authoritative quotes.

Be sure you refer to the ideas of John Holt (who had a more student- centered approach) and Daniel Pink (or Edmundson if you have the earlier edition). You might also include Plato's "myth of the Cave." However, you certainly may do more research on the issue and include other sources as well.

*You must also cite whatever essays you use according to MLA format shown in Rules for Writers for an anthology (a collection of essays).

You may consult the dictionary, but find your own definition. Do not make the definition the opening line. Try to think of several methods of developing the definition- using examples, comparison and contrast, analogy, cause and effect analysis. However, you may discover that one method alone - say, used of examples - will suffice to narrow and refine your definition.

*2. Many of the essays in this chapter discuss the role of education in society. In the process, they try to define exactly what constitutes a"good" education. Write an essay in which you define a good education. Explain your view with specific references to essays in this chapter by John Holt (p. 86) and Daniel Pink (p. 91) as well as with examples from your own experience.

I have written the Essay should I present one paragraph at a time here. I need improvement. I need to combine sentences and possibly words to described my points and not be too repetition at the same time. I already tried critiqueing it and move paragraphs. But feel that I need more help in shaping it up here. Ok, so another post I will post the Essay.

Can I used these journals in my essays? Don't know where?

4) In paragraph 13 Holt says, "Lets get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks."

Do you agree? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action?

No I disagree.

Advantages a teacher would give you both guidance and direction. School ground would be in a protective environment to share ideas between other students without any judgment. If the teacher shows you personally, visual aids this would help us better understand and comprehend the variety of subjects and material. All depends how the teacher presents the visual aids. Without homework assignments assigned to us, how would we gain experience in class.

Disadvantages no incentives, gangs would form, more disputes resulting in domestic violence. Students who don't care turn to substance abuse becoming addicts: drugs or alcohol. Gangs would stake their claim territory feeling they have power or control over another student.

There is no interaction with the teacher. Ratio assign to how many students, perhaps 30 students) is assign to one teacher has its benefits. There would be more quality time spent with one student assign to a teacher. The smaller the class size the more time spent will allow us to learn more.

How would any one student know how their progression in class? How would any student gain self-esteem without incentives?

Daniel H. Pink Pg 102 Responding in Writing
List three advantages and three disadvantages of home schooling, and then write a paragraph in which you argue for or against it.

Home schooling relies on students whom own a computer with internet services.

Advantages no restrictions in achieve your most favorite hobby, for instance, building Lego blocks. Focus more on your passion in life. Online internet distance learning you have access to resources from World Wide Web gain diversity allows students to interact with from cultural environments through forums and blogs. If it wasn't for World Wide Web access, busing (segregation) students from school to school would be diminished.

Disadvantages would be there's no personal feedback for progression. No incentives that can be given. However some websites gives you mentoring option or support. Not everyone owns a computer or have the financial capacity to gain internet support. Technical difficulties can occur without proper care such as maintenance, software updates, utilizing antivirus, and spyware applications. Sometimes user and passwords are lost in dogpile (cyberspace), so students spend too much time with technical support issues then learning. All users have different operating systems and physical DNA like older models compared to newer models. Home learning environment has less on-hands experience for the field your most passionate about. For instance, the classroom environment will already have computers set up for proper training, equipment, supplies with little or no fee.
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Mar 26, 2008   #2
Traits in Good Teachers

How are students going to benefit from education without teachers, books, and funding. Teachers are a major ingredient in shaping student's purposes in life. Funding supports teachers in providing good books in the beginnings of an good education for students. Teachers are artist who gather and interpret books for students to comprehend at our level of understanding. Good teachers need to be very well dynamic in knowledgeable in each subject like arithmetic, writing, reading and history in our education system. The ratio of students assign to a teacher is hard to keep the attention of 15/30 students. Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college. Good teachers have traits enhancing us to prepare and inspire students for their passion in life, using workstation method, teaching them responsibility by live humorous presentations, enforcing self-discipline, and using visual and encouraging parent participation.

For the bold can I used the word independantly
By allowing children a chance to be independant will allow children taking control of their own education.

One method of classroom setup encourages students is the use of work stations. Classroom setup and design is a good way to get and keep the attention of students. Workstations are a good way to encourage different types of learning visual, audio, and tactile. By allowing children a chance to choose which activities they want to participate in, children are taking control of their own education. At the elementary level, children are always learning and sometimes don't even know it. Nevertheless, preschool teachers may utilize workstations like arts and craft, game area for animated toys, gardening outside and popup animated book reading. For example, Arborland Montessori Children's Academy one station was for gardening and we could plant seeds and check them every day to see how much they had grown.

Obviously, parents, our first teachers, share their duties with preschool teachers. We discovered our natural instincts having curiosity, observant senses, and movement of our body parts. Preschool teachers help us with our hand, eye coordination through educational colorful Fisher Price toys games that are either animated with sound like listening to talking books, building color shaped blocks or buttons we learn to push that lights up. Therefore they will divide large number of toddlers into groups' activities rotating groups on day to day basis. When toddlers don't always get their way with another toddler, they fight over a toy, preschool teachers' resolves conflict resolutions, and they tend to be our mediator breaking up the war zone. Preschool teachers tend to punished them for their bad behavior for instance, stands in the corner quietly for 10 minutes. Teachers taught us from right and wrong situations resolving conflicts at an early age. If a teacher has control of his/her class most likely students will listen and have the desire to learn.

Generally, a good teacher who has humor, will be able to take a boring subject and liven it up. For example, if a teacher makes a boring lesson, some students can have problems learning and may lose concentration. Furthermore, some teachers have a good sense of humor they make jokes and accept jokes. They are not comedians, but they are entertaining. They tell stories, point out silly things, bring joy to difficult situations, and are not afraid of laughter. They use humor to connect with their students keeping their interest and concentration.

In addition, good teacher also enforces discipline, which allows students to become responsible. Students who don't care says, "Why do we have to come to class sit in our chair with desk, listen quietly, write notes and give our full total attention to our teachers, who give great presentations?" Without our complete undivided attention, how would the teacher know if we all are learning here? Our teacher is not going to force us to write down notes. It's our privilege to write down notes for remembering key points for a test given later. We have to be taught self-discipline to become responsible students; we learn this from our first teachers, our parents. As part of disciplining students, teachers provide students rules to follow. John Holt says, "Let's get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks" (Holt, 90). Why would we need grades? I believe teachers need to give grades for our work done to give students incentives. Shows teachers where they need improvement. We all have weaknesses to overcome. Teacher give students' assignments deadline date on when it's due, so teachers can follow their requirements and guidelines in our education system. Whoever thought we need rules to follow? If there were no rules, how are students supposed to follow procedures for their future work environment? So all teachers need to do is to enforce rules. Daniel H. Pink says, "Kids learned how to obey rules, follow orders, and respect authority - and the penalties that came with refusal" (93). Students don't follow rules, teacher will punish students. For instances, talking inside the classroom while the teacher is giving a presentation is being rude, disruptive, and disrespectful. Teacher set boundaries taking action in controlling their misbehaving students by giving them warnings with unsatisfactory mark "S" on their report card. Students need to remain quiet while the teacher is discussing major points in presentations. Teachers' will not tolerate a noisy classroom after the third warning given, and enforced the student to be dismissed from the classroom sent to the principal's office.

Besides discipline, teachers encourage parent participation in their children school activities. Nevertheless, I find a parents who are involved with their children's school activity eventually they will have good grades. Teachers will be pleased that parents who participated and involved with their children's homework and activities will increase students' motivation and self-esteem to become successful in school. This is why it's important for Parent's teacher conferences are scheduled, so parents can see their child progress. Students who don't turn in their homework assignments their grade will be lowered, they will not do well on their Exams teachers organized. Teachers have to know from students what was learned by giving exams they can monitor students' progression.

Moreover good teachers use visual aids like written information on chalk boards. It's important information that teachers may give examples, key points for students to prepare and remember what's on a test. A teacher who writes and draws design diagrams, arithmetic problem solving, statistics, or text information can easily show outline demonstrations on the board. Teachers who write a lot of text information using a chalk or marker can be very tiresome and waste time for covering a lot of information in one hour. Education has its benefits becoming more dynamic utilizing personal computers, laptops and slide projectors. Teachers can monitor their time to discuss each subject matter in 10-15 minute intervals when laptops or projectors are used. They can cover a lot of material in PowerPoint presentations, transparencies, and video conferences. Good teachers have great time management capabilities this teaching is easier for the students to comprehend material without falling behind. Slide projectors sometimes helps the teacher to show colorful information or pictures that can relate to what is discussed about. Sometimes handouts are given to students as a study guide. Teachers allow students to ask questions before moving on to another slide or given material as visual aids are given. Enhancing visual aids sometimes having video conferences can help students to see the material another way.

Need to develop a new topic sentences don't know if it's a good one---the bold print

However education has become more and more digitalized in a classroom environment replacing teachers by home learning experience sometimes referred to distant learning. Teachers today are being replaced by video conferencing by personal computers synchronizing information across the World Wide Web. Daniel H. Pink informs us from the Wall Street Journal that Home schooled children have higher grades than children attending schools. This article in Wall Street Journal explains children achieved at higher academic level education. Religion beliefs from families have importance inspired home schooled children.

Daniel H. Pink says, "According to The Wall Street Journal, Evidence is mounting that home-schooling, once confined top the political and religious fringe, has achieved results not only on par with public education, but in some ways surpassing it. Home-schooled children consistently score higher than traditional students on standardized achievement tests, placing on average in the 80th percentile in all subjects. In home schooling, kids opt out of traditional school to take control of their own education and to learn with help of parents, tutors, and peers" (95).

World Wide Web has become more visual aid enhancements from forums, blogs, e-books, and message boards. Assignments can be given by categorizing subjects in threads. Teacher's speech lectures can be uploaded in forums. Teachers can answer question with supported links that can be addressed to students for comprehend reading purposes. Teachers can organized E-books online can be access by students who can download text information, However teachers are moderators that have control how much information is viewed by students when they're ready for the next subject. They can proofread work easily with strikeouts and red ink text addressing correction to their students. Video conferencing can allow teachers virtually answer any questions students may have. Teachers and students have become more independent and interacting to enormous wide range of people with different cultural backgrounds and lifestyles.

In final consideration, good teachers have impacted students' lives for them to have a purpose in life. Seeking a career goal in college, students have prepared by good teachers to become responsible, disciplined, respect from the time we were born till we become young adults ourselves. Teachers shared humorous jokes to entertain students enhancing their learning experience. Good teachers give us handouts, slide show presentation from personal computers as visual aids tools utilized as study guide. The World Wide Web has taken over the classroom environment as home learning experience. In classroom environment, students have the social interaction with others students going to school everyday of the week. Now socializing has expanded through the World Wide Web interacting with all groups of people from blogs, forums and message boards. Education has become more and more dynamic for teacher's resources. Whoever thought teachers can now teach a student from the home, the learning experience has became more widely spread throughout all areas of the child's life.

Works Cited

Holt, John "School is Bad for Children" The Blair Reader. Eds.
Laurie G Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey,
2008. 86-91 Pearson/Prentice Hall

Pink, Daneil H. "Schools Out" The Blair Reader. Eds. Laurie G Kirszner and Stephen R. Mandell, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey, 2008. 91-102 Pearson/Prentice Hall
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Mar 28, 2008   #3
Greetings!

You've done a lot of hard work! There are some areas where I felt you did not really answer the question, though. For example:

4) In paragraph 13 Holt says, "Lets get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks."

Do you agree? What would be the advantages and disadvantages of this course of action?

No I disagree.

Advantages a teacher would give you both guidance and direction. School ground would be in a protective environment to share ideas between other students without any judgment. If the teacher shows you personally, visual aids this would help us better understand and comprehend the variety of subjects and material. All depends how the teacher presents the visual aids. Without homework assignments assigned to us, how would we gain experience in class. - It doesn't say anything about getting rid of teachers or school grounds; the author was referring to grading students' performance.

Disadvantages no incentives, gangs would form, more disputes resulting in domestic violence. Students who don't care turn to substance abuse becoming addicts: drugs or alcohol. Gangs would stake their claim territory feeling they have power or control over another student. - If this is meant to be in response to the same comment, it is way off-topic.

There is no interaction with the teacher. Ratio assign to how many students, perhaps 30 students) is assign to one teacher has its benefits. There would be more quality time spent with one student assign to a teacher. The smaller the class size the more time spent will allow us to learn more. - I'm confused; where does the question talk about class size ratio?

I felt that really only the last two questions you wrote answered the question, and they should really not be in the form of questions.

For the bold can I used the word independantly
By allowing children a chance to be independant will allow children taking control of their own education. - Yes, you can say "independent" but be sure to spell it correctly. :-)

It was a little difficult to tell which parts you were asking about, but I think your question referred to this: However education has become more and more digitalized in a classroom environment replacing teachers by home learning experience sometimes referred to distant learning. I would take out "However" and start the sentence with "Education..."

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Mar 28, 2008   #4
Hi thank you for feedback, I think I will have to work on one paragraph at a time here by starting with revising the italicize introduction.

This is my goal, this time I hope I answer the question and all the paragraphs flows eliminating repetition. I need to work on combining sentences. It's been 20 years for me since I been to school so bare with me. This is my first semester returning to college has it's challenges.

Students benefit from a good education if they have excellent teachers, books, and funding. Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college. In providing good education teachers are the most important ingredient in shaping student's lives. Federal funding supports and provides teachers good books, supplies and safe environment to meet at our elementary, junior high, high school and college. Teachers are artist who gather and interpret books for students to comprehend at our level of understanding. Good teachers would use their own methods supported by the government's guidelines in providing education. Textbooks are also an important element in good education for teachers to interpret for students to gain wisdom. Good teachers need to be very well dynamic in knowledgeable in each subject like arithmetic, writing, reading and history in our education system. The ratio of students assign to a teacher is hard to keep the attention of 15/30 students. It's important for teachers to have good classroom setups, a sense of humor, ability to discipline, utilize visual aids enhancements, and also be artists.

The bold print, I don't know if I should include this,"Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised and encouraged us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college." in the introduction or leave it out.

Any constructive criticizism is greatly appreciated. I think I need to move sentences and combined them as well. I'm not to sure if I know how to work on this. I'm also receiving other feedback however their confliction in our time days/week. Getting the same person to help me is also a challenge.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Mar 29, 2008   #5
Greetings!

I think it's great that you've gone back to school! It will be a challenge, but one well worth the work! Here are some editing tips:

Our first teachers, who were are parents that brought us into this world, raised us, become responsible for their children's education from five to eighteen years old, so teachers can enlighten students to become knowledgeable and prepare them for college. - This is confusing. It starts out talking about our parents, but seems to end up talking about teachers in school. I might rewrite it like this: "Our first teachers were our parents. They brought us into this world, raised us, and became responsible for enlightening us to become knowledgeable adults." This has the feel of a good introduction, but since your essay is about school teachers and not parents, you need a sentence to connect this to the following sentence, so that they flow into each other. I would advise making the paragraph something like this: "Our first teachers were our parents. They brought us into this world, raised us, and became responsible for enlightening us to become knowledgeable adults. But the bulk of a child's learning, especially that which prepares him or her for college and a career, will come in the classroom. In providing a good education, teachers are the most important ingredient in shaping student's lives."

Then, in the next paragraph, you can go on to become more specific about how this education takes place:

"Students benefit from a good education if they have excellent teachers, books, and funding. Federal funding supports and provides teachers good books, supplies and a safe environment to meet at the elementary, junior high, high school and college level. Teachers are artists who gather and interpret books for students to comprehend at the appropriate level of understanding. It's important for teachers to have good classroom setups, appropriate technology, and visual aids. It helps if they also have a good sense of humor, the ability to discipline, and a love for teaching."

I'm not sure that the student/teacher ratio really belongs in this paragraph. Remember that every sentence in the paragraph needs to be on the same topic. It's even a bit of a jump from federal funding to teachers-as-artists. Try to make it as cohesive as possible, so your reader won't feel that s/he's bouncing around from one topic to another.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Mar 29, 2008   #6
So the introduction can have 2 paragraphs? As I thought the introduction was just one paragraph mapping out the body ending with a thesis.

My thesis was
It's important for teachers to have good classroom setups, a sense of humor, ability to discipline, utilize visual aids enhancements, and also be artists.

But then it sounds best if it was broken down then.

Can I connect the two paragraphs in saying something like this, "Teachers encourages parents' to be involved and participate in their children's classroom activities."
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Mar 30, 2008   #7
Greetings!

Yes, I think you're right; make your introduction one paragraph. It was just a little unclear from your original what the thesis was. Is the topic supposed to be the definition of a good teacher, or the definition of education? That makes a difference as to how you approach it. I like the sentence you came up with to connect the two paragraphs into one, but I might modify it slightly: "The best teachers encourage parents to be involved and participate in their children's classroom activities." Remember never to use an apostrophe to make something plural: encourage parents [plural]; encourage parents' children [possessive].

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Apr 6, 2008   #8
I need help with revising this paragraph condensing it down staying with the idea of a good teaching. I've tried myself and I'm not successful here. I thank you in advance for any assistance.

One other paragraph besides this one includes discipline with preschool teachers breaking up toddlers fights and their are consequences for fighting for a toy. They learn to share the toy.

When we become teenagers we have rules to follow, their are consequences for not following rules.

Finally I have the introduction with my thesis down. My problem with this essay is organization and sticking to one idea here.

Is this paragraph ok the way it is or not? What sentences can I change?

In addition, good teacher also enforces discipline, which allows students to become responsible. Students who don't care says, "Why do we have to come to class sit in our chair with desk, listen quietly, write notes and give our full total attention to our teachers, who give great presentations?" Without our complete undivided attention, how would the teacher know if we all are learning here?

...

After discipline perhaps knowledgeable teachers can provide incentives having grades will allow students to overcome their weaknesses. I believe I mention grades in the discipline part. Would grades take part in knowledgable teachers, parents involvement, or teahers who are artist? I'm in debate with myself here. I need to cut sentences here and combined them as well sticking to the idea of good teaching.

Sincerely

babydoll
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Apr 8, 2008   #9
Greetings!

I'm having a little trouble following the logic of your paragraph. You say "Students who don't care says, "Why do we have to come to class sit in our chair with desk, listen quietly, write notes and give our full total attention to our teachers, who give great presentations?" - Would a student who didn't care really say that the teachers give great presentations? I didn't really understand this.

we learn this from our first teachers, our parents. - This seems out of place; the paragraph is about teachers and discipline, not about parents.

You should avoid asking rhetorical questions like "Whoever thought we need rules to follow?" It distracts the reader from what you are saying, and, in this case, really didn't seem to fit; it sort of sticks out as being out of place.

Be mindful of what tense you are writing in, and don't change it. "Teachers will not tolerate a noisy classroom after the third warning, and force the student to be dismissed from the classroom and sent to the principal's office.

I think you could really work in the part about grades wherever you want to; it ties into all the areas you mentioned, one way or another.

Keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Apr 8, 2008   #10
How does this sound? I change the first part of the paragraph.

In addition, good teacher also enforces discipline, which allows students to become responsible. Teachers come across difficult students who don't care to come to class sit in their chair with desk, listen quietly, write notes and give their full total attention. As part of disciplining students, teachers provide students rules to follow. John Holt says, "Let's get rid of all the nonsense of grades, exams, marks" (Holt, 90). Why would we need grades? I believe teachers need to give grades for our work done to give students incentives. Shows teachers where they need improvement. Some students have weaknesses to overcome. Teachers' give students' assignments deadline date on when it's due, so teachers can follow their requirements and guidelines in our education system. Good teachers monitor, evaluate and issues grades from student's assignments completed. Student needs to follow rules to prepare themselves in future work environment, they can work and follow procedures for their bosses. So all teachers need to do is to enforce rules, so students will gain respect for higher authority. Daniel H. Pink says, "Kids learned how to obey rules, follow orders, and respect authority - and the penalties that came with refusal" (93). Students don't follow rules, teacher will punish students. For instances, talking inside the classroom while the teacher is giving a presentation is being rude, disruptive, and disrespectful. Teacher set boundaries taking action in controlling their misbehaved students by giving them warnings with unsatisfactory mark "S" on their report card. Students need to remain quiet while the teacher is discussing major points in presentations. Teachers will not tolerate a noisy classroom after the third warning, and force the student to be dismissed from the classroom and sent to the principal's office.
OP babydoll 8 / 39  
Apr 8, 2008   #11
I ran out of time to edit: More I think about it I believe I should change my thesis from
My target date for turning this Essay in is April 14, 2008. This why I'm questioning this essay so much. I can't wait to place this behind me. I greatly appreciate any feedback. Thank you so much, Sarah.

Students benefit from a good education if they have knowledgeable teachers who enforce discipline, good classroom setups, and responsible parent involvement. to

Students benefit from a good education if they have resourceful firm teachers who enforce discipline, good classroom setups, and responsible parent involvement.

Is the sentence parallel?
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Apr 9, 2008   #12
Greetings!

I'll take your questions in order. The first one needs a little grammar correction:

In addition, a good teacher also enforces discipline, which allows students to become responsible. Teachers come across difficult students who don't care to come to class, stay seated at their desks, listen quietly, take notes or give their full total attention.

Students need to follow rules to prepare themselves for their future work environment, so they can follow procedures in the workplace.

If students don't follow the rules, the teacher will enforce appropriate punishment on the students. For instance, talking inside the classroom while the teacher is giving a presentation is being rude, disruptive, and disrespectful. Teachers set boundaries, taking action to control students who misbehave.

More to come!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
EF_Team2 1 / 1,708  
Apr 9, 2008   #13
Greetings!

This next one is confusing because it is missing some words:
Teacher's resources education has become more and more digitalized replacing a classroom environment by home learning experience sometimes referred to distant learning. - I think you meant "The resources used by teachers to provide a good education have become more and more digitalized, replacing a classroom environment by a home learning experience, sometimes referred to as distant learning. "

Teachers can answer questions with supported links that can be addressed to students to enhance reading comprehension. Teachers can organize E-books online, which can be accessed by students who can download text information, However teachers are moderators that have control over how much information is viewed by students when they're ready for the next subject.

For your thesis, I suggest this: Students benefit from a good education if they have knowledgeable, firm teachers who enforce discipline, have good classroom setups, and encourage responsible parent involvement. (Although I'm not sure what "classroom setups" are.)

You're almost finished--keep up the good work!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
jolly - / 1  
Oct 25, 2008   #14
hey babydoll,
well i was researching for the same paper that you have discussed here. Do you still have a copy of this paper?


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