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IELTS essay. Deforestation caused by human activity.


Marceline 3 / 7  
Nov 29, 2014   #1
This is my first essay here. I used no books or dictionaries. And yes, I know I'm not good at writing but I'm working on it. I'd appreciate it if you check my essay :)

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Nowadays the deforestation- a process when trees are being removed, is one of the biggest global problems. Deforestation has a negative impact on the environment.

First of all, as we know, trees and vegetation defend the air from different emissions, so when people cut down trees for different reasons like for producing paper, books, furniture and etc. there is nothing left to deal with those pollutants. For instance, on the countryside where the nature is not touched we can notice how fresh the air is but in the cities with virtually no trees the air is pollute by cars and industries. Second, trees inhibit the soil erosion. By logging, nothing can protect the soil from the big amount of water that erode the soil. Moreover, loss of soil from action of water has a big effect for fish. For example, the vegetation along rivers help water remain steady, but removing these trees can lead to killing the fish and other aquatic creatures.

There are several solutions to deal with this problem. First, furniture and other wood objects should be recycled. If we can make new products from used and recycled ones we can save more trees from cutting down. Another solution is for people to plant more trees. Different government programs should be made, students may volunteer to help save the nature by seeding plants. For instance, planting new trees can help to get rid of imbalance of trees. Various advertisements can also be made to influence people to care more about the environment they live in. That can lead to get more volunteers to plant the trees.

All in all, there could be other way to address the problem but I strongly feel those listed above would suffice.

koraykirdinli 3 / 7 2  
Nov 29, 2014   #2
For instance, on the countryside where the nature is not touched (!!! )we can notice how fresh the air is but in the cities with virtually no trees the air is polluted by cars and industries.

I think, this is very long and confusing sentence. Sounds a problem with it but I could not expain..
OP Marceline 3 / 7  
Nov 30, 2014   #3
Yeah, now i see. I'll change this sentence. Thank you for reading and commenting!
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Nov 30, 2014   #4
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Forest is the suitable habitat for floras and faunas. For this reason, cutting down the trees is resulting the global environmental problem in some countries of the world. Therefore, I personally believe that some measures can be taken to prevent this problem by governmental and individual action.

Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Read carefully this question, this question asks you about the solution for deforestation.

Nowadays the deforestation- a process when trees are being removed, is one of the biggest global problems. Deforestation has a negative impact on the environment .

This introduction tends to address your essay to be out of topic.
SHanafi 120 / 415 93  
Nov 30, 2014   #5
Deforestation caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem?

Be focus on your prompt, the blue one is your work to answer.

as we know

I suggest to omit, this is spoken language

.T here is nothing left to deal with those pollutants

There are several solutions to deal with this problem .

You attempt to answer the prompt with well in your second body paragraph, this is the main work point. However, for me, you make some circumstances before go straight to the point. Just directly answer the prompt since you make your intro.

All in all, there could be other way to address the problem but I strongly feel those listed above would suffice

This is too simply as a conclusion, you should synthesize the prior opinion here.

Lastly, I remind you to be care about your layout which is influence the psychological aspect of the reader including your examiner.


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