GRE1. dependence on technology weaken thinking ability

Hi, this is my first essey :) I'm really not sure about this :( But I'll really appreciate your help. Thank you

Technology has replaced uneasy or repetitive human tasks in many area. Even today, we're getting to the high-tech making cybot that can replace some part of human brain. However, I don't think that dependence on technology will let problem-solving ability weaken. This is because, first, people can expand thinking skills by using technology. Also, technological improvements create new kinds of problems or demands that people must think to solve.

First, people rather expand thinking skills by using technology. It means that we can have lots of information unless technology development like computer, Internet. Not only we can get broad and deep information than the past, but also we can exchange opinions with other people easily. These benefits of technology allow our thinking to flourish. For instance, when students have to do their reports, they can reach any type of resources in anywhere through database. ,They also can share ideas with other people by using cell-phone or Internet. These technologies enrich what we have to think.

Also, technological improvements create new kinds of problems or demands that people must think to solve. As technology have developed, we have been suffered from new problems like nuclear weapons, industrial pollution, or invasion of privacy. These problems was not exist in the past. But nowadays, there are so many challenging problems we must care about and try to solve. Many scholars have been researching and designing solution for security without/with nuclear weapons. In terms of industrial pollution, people have tried to protect nature by making consensus, like Kyoto Protocol in 1997, In sum, high-tech society will need creative thinking to settle down newly emerging problems.

In conclusion, we're living in highly technically advanced society but it does not weaken our thinking or problem solving ability. Our thinking can be richful by using technology and there will be always new problems we have to solve creatively in the future.

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Overall, this is a well written essay :)

First, thinking ability of people would be further fine tuned by the influence of technology.


... this is a confusing sentence :( I guess this is what you mean;
Technology helps us acquire valuable information and thereby improve our thinking ability. For example, the help offered by Internet and computers cannot be measured in terms of improving our anlytical skills.