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Are we too dependent on computers?

pleace tell me about correction and what's about the logic ???

11. Are we too dependent on computers?
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity doesn't have computers which is necessary for workers, scientists and students .Therefore, people depend on computers which they do everything necessary or unnecessary. Computers users ignore risks and problems of using this electronic machine. Computers threat human health's which affect on eyes, brain and macules and more .it's not only threat human bodies but also destroys relations and makes people so lazy.

Computers users suffer from diseases and health risks .They don't known that setting on front of computer for a long time is very dangerous. Radiation comes from screen affect on eyes which computers users cannot see everything clearly with high resolution or real scene. Magnetic field affect on brain which can't arrange memories correctly. Computers also affect on macules because the main substances in blood doesn't reach to macules which need those substances to make power and move.

Computer cuts all relations between people .Computer users who work on the computer for long time haven't enough time for talking or contacting with society .The real communication when people talk directly from speaker moth to listener ear so the relation complicated with computers users and other especially when they use it for long time .another problem when we depend on computer which makes people so lazy .The biggest problem when the computers stop working ,people cannot do computer work because they accustomed on using the computer.

In conclusion, depending on computers have many risks and problem in health or society.

Nov 5, 2010   #3
Your essay had a lot of grammatical errors and lacked coherence.
Also you failed to adress the topic "are we too dependent on computers?"
It adressed the issue "Effects of prolonged usage of computers" instead...I edited the essay ...

Nowadays, there is no place with electricity that doesn't have computers. Workers, scientists and students find computers very necessary for their work. Therefore, a lot of people depend on computers to do most activities whether necessary or unnecessary. But there are risks and problems which could result from a constant prolonged usage of this ubiquitous device. Computers threaten human health by affecting the eyes, brain and some other body parts. Also, it not only threatens the health of humans, but also ruins relationships and induces indolence.

Sitting in front of a computer for long has adverse effects. Radiation from the screen affects the eyes, making it difficult to identify objects in high resolution. A magnetic field, generated by computers, also harms the brain; therefore resulting in jumbled thoughts or memories. A common symptom of computers' adverse effects is restless sleeping. When using a computer, the brain is constantly moving like a water turbine. Therefore, after prolonged use, the eyes are strained, the brain is on maximum is still expecting more work and so results in kicking and turning while sleeping.

Health is not the only 'individual' to be devastated by prolonged computer usage; relationships are also hit hard too. Computer users who work on the computer for long periods of time, create less time for interaction with their society. The advent of social networking sites might be seen as a solution to that problem, but "face to face" interactions are beneficial once in a while. Over-dependence on computers creates room for laziness too. People tend to disregard learning to do some things the manual way. Thus, a computer break-down would leave them helpless until the computer is repaired.

Although this ever-present device has improved our world and way of life dramatically, it does not benefit us to be overly dependent on them.
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Nov 14, 2010   #5
Yes, Mnokoro did something great for you here. Mnonoroko, I remember your excellent essay about wanting to use innovation to improve people's lives. I hope you and Mohab both check out this EssayForum Contributor Page.

Mohab, I have an answer for your question.

how can I write like you ??

Repetition is the way to improve your writing.
Repeat every sentence 10 times, speaking it aloud.
Repeat every sentence 10 times, typing it.

Do it like this:
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity that doesn't have computers.
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity that doesn't have computers.
Nowadays, there is no place with electricity that doesn't have computers.

10 times for every sentence! Sit up straight and breathe deeply. Just settle into the moment and practice. Speak the sentence every time you type it, and let all of your attention pour over it like water.

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