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It depends on ourselves, how much efforts we do to be fit and healthy.


nurainiyusuf16 47 / 83 6  
Oct 31, 2016   #1
Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be.

At present, a healthy life style have become precious thing for most of people. It is too difficult to have a way of life which is healthy. Others argue it is so easy for society if they want to be fit and health only if they want, it depends on their self.

Work, obligation, and plenty of activities have made some people get health problem. For instance, worker who require to sit prolonged time made them harder to get some exercise. In rush-hour time and deadline, they will choose sit all along day and do not have time to break for taking sport time. It makes some diseases follow them.

However, there are many things that we can do to have a healthy life style by small activities. For example, get some walk before go to office, about 15 to 30 minutes. A researcher from Colombia University has discovered employee who obligated to work at desk all day can increase death risk but it can be eliminated by exercise or walking in earlier morning, in lunch time, or in dinner. If the distance of the workplace and the home is not really far, get walk or bicycle will much better to get healthy body.

Personally, I believe that it is hard for worker people to get healthy life style since they have a lot of activities but it is not impossible. What people need are more effort and be smart time regulator. There are some daily sport people can do, which do not take a long time and much money as well.

All in all, healthy lifestyle is easy for people want to be. It depends on ourselves, how much effort that we do to be fit and healthy.

ichephe 4 / 11 5  
Oct 31, 2016   #2
After reading repeatedly I realized that you are trying to partly agree and disagree.
Your introduction did not show that. Instead, it looks like you are trying to give explanation why it is hard to get healthier life and giving diseases examples.

It is important to make the introduction very clearly, since it is the gateway to understand your whole essay.

I see your effort to put a single paragraph for your own opinion.
However I think that it is better to combine the third and fourth paragraph to make the conclusion stronger.
nyanpasu 3 / 6 4  
Oct 31, 2016   #3
Nuraini, your introduction should be used to tell the reader what your standing is on the statement, instead of just repeating the statement. Also, as Ignatius said, you're justifying one side of the statement but your concluding lines are supporting both sides of the statement. I suggest that you make it clear as to which side you're on and justify why.
IvanMS027 43 / 56 9  
Oct 31, 2016   #4
Hi ms. Nuraini. Here are my suggestions towards your essay:

At present, a healthy life stylelifestylehavehas become a precious thing for most of the people. It is too difficult to have a way of life which is healthy(it is redundancy. you can say "a way of healthy life) .

... it depends on their selfthemselves .

For instance, worker who requirerequires to sit prolonged time ...

... can do to have a healthy life stylelifestyle by small activities. For example, you should get some walk ...
... exercise or walking in earlier morning, especiallyinat lunch time, or in dinner.
... home is not really far, get walk or bicyclewalking or bicycling will much better to get an healthy body.

suggestion: in your first body paragraph, try to make the reason after you introduced your main idea. so it can emphasize the idea in your paragraph.

I hope it will be useful for you.
Goodluck!


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