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Describe the best transportation in your country

kieungan 1 / 1  
Jan 5, 2012   #1
With over 152 routines within and nearby Ho Chi Minh city, buses have been gradually becoming one of the most common vehicles in citizen's daily use. In view of its feasibility in HCM's recent transport situation, many people agree that buses are the best choice to be made and i have the same thinking.

Overpopulation is thing to cause polution, traffic congestion, successive traveling stream...These facts demand passengers to consider the best vehicle to use. Buses obviously cant afford all the demanding but it has been proven to be the best solution by bringing these advantages.

First of all, buses can help we get away from the seemingly inevitable polution. The ubiquitous dusts produced from vehicles have put an adverse implication on citizen's health and the city environment. Sitting inside a bus can't protect our lungs from inhaling specks of dust in presence of air-conditioners. Besides, rather than being stressful in the tailbacks at rush hours, people would chose to stay in a silent, air-conditionered, and comfortable environment in a bus.

Secondly, buses can be a possible shelter to get away from rains or in some sultry days.
Thirdly, travelling by bus is an economic way of traveling. we don't have to pay money for gasoline like many other vehicles. Instead we only have to pay 4000 per commuter. Besides, Passengers can by monthly or annual tickets which are even less than the original fare.

Lastly, buses used as shuttle can reduce the amount of vehicles travelling in some particular roads especially when big events are occured.

On behalf of things listed above, buses can be ranked at the first place for the best means of transportation in our city. Along with its advantages, we can totally stand a strong belief in bus's development.

basketball 7 / 35  
Jan 5, 2012   #2
Hi, I think this is a TOEFL essay rather than undergraduate admission?
It's always better to leave sentence in a active form so Overpopulation causes many problems such as traffic congestion, successive traveling stream.
Bus can help we(us)
If you use Secondly, thirdly, lastly, you should use firstly too.
Passengers can bybuy
I don't know what type of essays it is but you should expand your ideas into longer paragraph. For example, "Secondly" and "Lastly" are two ideas but they only have one sentence for each ideas.

Also, you can merge your first and second paragraph together as an introduction.
The conclusion usually should have all ideas presented in the paper.
Good luck, I'm Vietnamese too :)

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