Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Describe a character in fiction: How the steel was tempered


tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 30, 2008   #1
(what I have written only amounts to 150 words. I need another 150 words. what else can I add? pls. give me some suggestions. Thanks!)

How the steel was tempered, written by Nikolai Ostrovsky (1904-1936), portrays a legendary character Pavel Korchagin in October Revolution in Russia. As the hero of the story, Pavel, under the immense influence of a senior Bolshevik, has gone through a process from. passive defense to active attack.

In the battle, he realized that he must be a steel soldier of great determination. He once said: personal business must yield to collective interest. Though an accident left Pavel permanent handicap and he couldn't easily get about, he finally rose to his feet with his great confidence, persistence and diligence.

His example suggests we should grasp every minute to contribute to the development of society. No matter what we do, we should persistence until the minute of success. Meanwhile, persistence is of great influence and proves itself a great power which can stimulate one to overcome difficulties and attain success.

OP tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 30, 2008   #2
Hi, I add a new part, pls. help me revise this part also. Great thanks!

In the story, Pavel suffered from physical pains. He used to be infected with pneumonia and shrapnel injury; he was arrested and tortured by the emeny; he witnessed the betrayal of his friends. But all of these never defeated him. Even after he was totally blind and paralyzed, he turned to his pen and wrote stories based on his own personal experiences. As the saying goes, pen is mightier than sword, his story inspired generation after generation.

In his life, he cherished friendship and love. He helped his neighbors survive crisis, his comrades escape from enemy and his love rebuild personal value system. He respected his superior and learned a lot from leader's instruction and supervision. He cooperated with others and completed challenging projects one after another. Facing love, he used be in a dilemma between personal comfort and revolutionary cause. However, he stuck to his own ideal and made the right choice.

His story sheds great light on young people like me. To achieve success, the first thing to do is to set up a lofty and valuable goal and break it into a series of practical and realistic steps and tasks. Then we have to stick to this goal and persist despite any challenges or difficulties. Last but not least, only with goal in mind can we stick to our life path and resist various temptations. Just as Pavel said in the story, "The most valuable thing in this world is life, so we shall never idle away time. When we are old and look back, we never regret for the elapse of time or shame for inaction. We must grasp every minute to contribute to the society because any accident may end our valuable life."
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Dec 1, 2008   #3
He once said: "Personal business must yield to collective interest."

He respected his superiors and learned a lot from the leader's instruction and supervision.

When we are old and look back, we never feel regret about the passage of time or about having failed to act when action was necessary. We must grasp every minute to contribute to the society, because life can end at any minute.

Wow, it looks like you are ready to do a final proofread and turn it in.


Home / Writing Feedback / Describe a character in fiction: How the steel was tempered