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SHORT ESSAY DESCRIBE A "PLACE" OBJECTIVELY AND SUBJECTIVELY


Sn3Ak3R_Fi3nD 2 / -  
Jan 31, 2008   #1
Looking face on from the bus stop, west across the street, north of Broadway, and on Emerson stands a brick building. Centered about two feet above the top of two huge window panes, is a sign that reads Juxtaposition. If standing outside when the night arrives, you will see the sign glow brightly, with a reddish colored hue and yellow tint. Walk through the door and you will hear the sound of chimes coming from above, which allows those who are present in the building to be aware that someone has either entered or left the facility. With four floors including the basement, you will find books, magazines, computers, art materials, pieces of art, history that lies in old sketch books, and people of diversity and many backgrounds.

A non- profit organization, this is a place that's mission is to empower youth and community to use the arts to actualize their full potential. Providing an environment full of learning, opportunity, imagination, creativity, design, and potential, you are able to be yourself. You are encouraged to allow your art to speak through your mind and with the hand in which you created it.

Like a second home to many, you are able to connect with almost everyone and find yourself at ease. With the expression of graffiti and the vibe of old school hip-hop, this is a place of uniqueness and a culture of its own. Speaking in educated conversations of importance, consuming arrow shooting knowledge, jokes, and laughter, you have the opportunity to become one of superior intelligence. If you are dedicated this becomes a place that prepares you to be bound for future success.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Feb 1, 2008   #2
Greetings!

Another good essay! Here are some editing suggestions:

this is a place whose mission is to empower - Although we don't normally think of using "who" or "whose" with objects, in this case it's preferable to "that's" which sounds awkward.

to allow your art to speak through your mind and the hand with which you created it.

Like a second home to many, you are able to connect with almost everyone and find yourself at ease. - It isn't you who is the second home; say "Like a second home to many, this place allows you to connect..."

consuming arrow shooting knowledge - This metaphor doesn't really work; see if you can find a better descriptor for "knowledge."

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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