Please check and see whether I can inculde other points and also check the content,spelling and grammer
Topic B -Many students expand their view of the world during their time in college. Such growth often results from encounters between students who have lived different cultural, economic, or academic experiences. With your future growth in mind, describe a potential classmate that you believe you could learn from either within or outside a formal classroom environment
Essay
We are often influenced by the people around us. As Henry Ward Beecher said, the humblest individual exerts some influence, either good or evil upon others. As a result, it is very important that we maintain good acquaintances so that we can we can learn many positive qualities from them. In college we often come into contact with people of different cultures and social backgrounds. Through such contact, we would gain a lot of useful knowledge about other cultures and also many positive traits such as diligence and resourcefulness. Therefore it is very important that we are in good company.
To me, a classmate from whom I can learn should be preferably from a different social background and culture so that I can understand his culture by talking and socializing with him. This will increase my general knowledge and awareness. He should be an extrovert who talks about a wide range of subjects and has very good communication skills. This will enable me to learn many things from him and also communicate well.
My classmate should also have qualities which I lack so that I can be motivated by him to develop those qualities. I lack determination and the 'killer' instinct in doing any task or assignment and tend to give up easily. So my classmate should be a determined person and have a 'never say die' attitude so that I can learn from him.
My classmate also should not have any bad habits and should be upright in character. As the Sam Veda (Hindu Religious Text) says, 'as the saying goes that the man is known by the company he keeps. Good company can make a man while bad company ruins him'. So if my classmate is upright in character and has virtues like honesty and kindness, I will also be influenced by him and try to be like him.
My classmate should be good in studies and show a positive attitude towards learning new things so that I can be helped by him in studies whenever I want and can be motivated to learn new things.
Overall, these are the characteristics that I would like a potential classmate of mine to have. A classmate that has positive qualities and virtues would exert a positive influence on me, enabling me to achieve maximum success in college and also develop good characteristics.
Please reply as soon as you can as the deadline for submission is very near
Greetings!
I think this is a very fine essay! You have given a lot of thought to the characteristics you'd like a classmate to have.
I have just a couple of editing suggestions:
If the quotation from Henry Ward Beecher is his exact words and not a paraphrase, you should put it in quotes.
"My classmate should be good in studies and show a positive attitude towards learning new things so that I can be helped by him in studies whenever I want and can be motivated to learn new things." Rather than using the passive voice, consider re-writing it something like this:
"My classmate should be a good student and show a positive attitude towards learning new things so that he can help me with my own studies and motivate me to embrace new ideas."
I think you're in good shape here. Good luck!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Thanks a lot for editing my essay.Can I post my other essay here to edit?
Actually, it would be better if you create a new topic - either way, we'll be able to assist you.
Cheers,
EssayForum.com
