Hi, can you please look at my essay, and give me some advice
Describing my partner
Khalid Abdulah, my best classmate. We live in the same country which is Saudi Arabia. He is older than me, He is 21 years old. He is single. He was born in Riyadh, which is the capital city. He has five brothers, and He is the older one. He lives in Kent. He studies in United State at Kent State University. He is studying English as a second language, than he will go to college. His major is finance. When he graduates from college, he will go back to Saudi Arabia.
He is very good looking. He is thin, tall, has long face, curly hair, black eyes, a straight nose, and he is handsome. He is smart, calm, loyal, and outgoing. He doesn't get mad easy, he has a kind heart. He likes to communicate with people. He is helpful, caring, and honest. He has sense of humor.
In his free time, he likes to watch movies, play soccer, fishing, play volleyball, hung out with his friend, read books, and he loves to travels, he has been in many countries. He went to Nottingham, London, Liverpool, Great Yarmouth, French, Egypt, United Arab Emirate, Syria, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia. And he was studying in England for eight months.
He has been worked in many companies, such as Nissan, which is a big company for sell cars. He had the opportunity to involve in Lexus Company. He has been working as assistance for the people who comes to perfume "Al hajj", which is the Fifth pillar of Islam. He worked as a salesman in British brand, which is called Next.
I'll change this comma to a period:
He is older than me. He is 21 years old. He is single. He was born in Riyadh, which is the
Here, do not capitalize the H: He has five brothers, and He he is the older one.
In his free time, he likes to watch movies, play soccer, go fishing, play volleyball, hung hang out with his friend, read books, and ...
He has been worked in many companies, such as Nissan, which is a big company for sell that sells cars. He had the opportunity to be involved in Lexus Company. He has been...
You had a few errors, but it is pretty good. You should give the essay a THEME. A theme is like a message to the reader or an idea that the essay expresses at the beginning and the end. Google "theme" so get some ideas. :-)
