IELTS : ESSAY ON DESCRIPTIVE WRITING FOR GRAPHICAL DATA

ESSAY PROMPT : THE graph ( see attachment ) shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004
summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

CAMBRIDGE IELTS 7 TEST 2 WRITING TASK 1

The illustrated line graphs represents a comparison amongst various kind of meats eaten by Europeans (chicken, beef, lamb and fish) respectively over the 25 years i.e. from 1979 to 2004

Fish line graph starts off with lowest consumption amongst the four from 1979 at approximately 60grams/person/week, and slowly continued to decline over the years, finally reaching a 40-30grams/person/week in the year 2004, thus is the least preferred of all

Beef and lamb line graphs also showed decline in their consumption over the years. Beef consumption was reached its peak in 1979 at about 220gramsperpersonperweek, which declined rapidly by 30-40grams approximately in the early 1980's it then recovered rapidly in the year 1984 reaching its peak at 240 grams/person /week .The beef line graph was erratic with occasional dips seen in the early 90's and then in late 90's at about 150gram/person/week, another one in early 2000.The lamb line graph exhibited a capricious consumption trend which was diminishing progressively from the year 1979 to 2005

In contrast, chicken line graph displayed a trend opposite to other line graphs, it began approximately at the same consumption level (150grams/person/week) as the lamb line graph. This graph showed variable upward trend, which increased progressively over the years, reaching a peak of 250grams /person/week in the year 1994 and still continued to rise reaching the highest the consumption rate(260grams/person/week) and preferable type of meat among Europeans.

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A REQUEST PLEASE : please provide a score out of 9
and please along with your comments instruct how can i stream line my essay writing further
thank you

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  Please view the image attached for graphs
  

Well.... This is the format I recommend for this task;
1. Introduce the graph (very briefly - e.g. ; The line graphs demonstrate a comparison of fish, chicken, beef and lamb from 1979 to 2004.
2. Give an overview (your second sentence should be moved to a new para to give this overview)
3. Give the detail

The line graph compares the amount of fish and three kinds of meat consumed in one European country over a 25-year period.


In 1979, fish was the least popular type of food with approximately 60 grams eaten per person per week. Then fish consumption remained constant for the rest of the period after a slight decline in 1984.


The most consumed meat at the beginning of the course was beef with consumption coming at 220 grams. This was followed by a fall by about 30 grams prior to resurgence to reach a peak of 220 grams in 1984.


However, the consumption of beef decreased dramatically the following years, finishing the period at 100 grams.


The amount of lamb eaten followed a similar pattern, falling by a half during 25 years.

mod and all members please can u provide a score or how my writing is ?
i need a band score of 8 in ielts
pls help it would make the things clearer for me and so i could improve it further