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Descriptive essay about a very mundane object [THE BARRETTE]


sweets 1 / -  
Nov 30, 2007   #1
Directions: ,you are to write a descriptive essay about a very mundane object from your everyday life-something without innate glory about which you can get downhome and personal. Choose an object, any object. Your essay may involve a process or experience, but should be centered on a physical object. You can love the object, hate the object, or have no emotions whatsoever about the object, but you are to describe the object in detail at a physical level, and you are to be as juicy as possible in so doing...which does not mean redundant or wordy or like an instruction manual. It means: evocative. It means: appealing to the senses. It means: creating an experience.

So I am having a little trouble..I have already finished most of my essay but I can't seem to do the conclushion and link everythng together..Can someone please help me think of an idea?? Here is what I have so far..

THE BARRETTE

The golden barrette first caught my attention at a street stand in Singapore when I was on a vacation a few years ago. I could not help myself but to pick it up carefully, examining intently on the lavish design. My fingers just mindlessly started tracing itself along the cool golden edges and brushing the smooth polished round backs of the curved-in waves along its perimeter. Besides the occasional dull points protruding outward along the edges, the barrette was simply perfect for me. I bought it for five dollars.

The barrette is longer lengthwise and it measures in four inches and the width is about half an inch. Upon careful observation, I noted the disarrayed golden curls coiling restlessly. There persists a definite symmetrical arrangement of repetitions horizontally and vertically of the undulating lake of waves. At the center of the barrette, lies a flat, green, plastic disk that is in the shape of a butterfly with its wings spread opened. The disk has a illuminating gloss coated all over its body, resembling a woman's fingernail painted over with a glinting green fingernail polish. When gleams of light reflects off of the emerald colored disk, it brings out the golden outline of the barrette and the inner details of each of the rose petals that are etched all around the center disk. Turning the barrette onto its back, reveals a long needle-like clutch positioned at the very center, as if it was the only option to be placed there when it was made. If you look closely enough at the left bottom corner of the barrette, you would notice the coating and a piece is chipped off and it now bares a dark coppery metal with a sharp raised edge. I guess I have to blame my younger sister for that because like she said, she had "accidentally" dropped it one day.

My eyes squint with delight and I can feel my lips mindlessly curling itself into a smile when I snap the barrette into my hair. I begin to brush the edges of the golden barrette again, I am reminded that I am one who lives on the edges of life, or so I have been told. I choose to live on the edge to get more fulfillment out of life. Anything that puts me so close to death that I could touch it, but still hang on to a thread of life to pull yourself back up with, gives me the adrenaline rush that makes all the danger in the world entirely worth it. I never seem to go anywhere without my barrette. Even when its in my hair or just traveling along with me in my purse, it is there with me and my life threatening adventures.

What I am trying to get at, is that I feel that my barrette defines my life. The intricate deep grooves on the rose petals to the jutting edges just fits me perfectly.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Dec 2, 2007   #2
Greetings!

I think your essay is very good! I do think the way you explained it to me directly, "The intricate deep grooves on the rose petals to the jutting edges just fits me perfectly." was a lot clearer than the way you put it in the essay itself: "I feel that my barrette defines my life. Besides the occasional dull points protruding outward along the edges, the barrette was simply perfect for me." To make it clearer, you might say "The intricate deep grooves on the rose petals to the jutting edges define my life."

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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