Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

IELTS TASK 1 : The design for a wind turbine and its location


intiaiqbal92 13 / 13 2  
May 7, 2015   #1
The diagrams below show the design for a wind turbine and its location.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons were relevant.


The diagram illustrates regarding the place and how looks like of wind turbine. In general, according to the picture all of the wind turbines need wind to produce power in order to make electricity. Then, the largest wind turbine needs computer to adjust direction and angle of turbine.

To begin with, there are three different locations of the turbines. First, the turbin is built in hillside so as to get more wind energy, and this turbine is able to produce power to 1.5 megawatts. Next, the smaller wind turbine is established in rooftop which can be output 100 kilowatts of energy. In addition, the wind turbine can be found in the see.

Following this, various shape of turbines can be seen from the pictures. The blades of tall tower made from fibreglass or wood, and it has wind sensor in order to change speed and direction which controlled by computer. Additionally, the turbine for domestic use is the smallest size than other turbines.




lcturn87 - / 435 236  
May 7, 2015   #2
I gave you a really short suggestion on how you can improve upon your writing. I hope these changes help you.

1st paragraph: I think you are referring to the different locations and looks of a wind turbine. In the second sentence, place a comma between picture and all. I would use "However", to begin the next sentence. You also need to add "a" before computer.

2nd paragraph: In the second sentence, you have misspelled turbine. Change this to "turbine is built on a hillside". The wind turbine would be on a rooftop. You want to express that it can have an output of 100 kilowatts. You have made a common mistake. See and sea both are pronounced the same, but this diagram shows it is by the sea.

3rd paragraph: I would change your transition from "Following this" to Nevertheless. Make the word shape plural by adding -s to the end. There is too much information in the first sentence. "The blades of the tall tower are made from fiberglass or word." Start a new sentence stating, "It has wind sensors". The end of this sentence needs to read: "which are controlled by the computer."

Suggestion:
By computer: Sometimes you need a word before computer. Sometimes, it was "a" or "the".
Anfalia 40 / 56 23  
May 7, 2015   #3
(it does not tell what the pictures actually means)
in this first introductory paagraph, you should;
1. tell the first picture which tells about the design of wind turbine
2. tell the 2nd picture which tells about the optimum location
3. give an overview. here, you should understand for both pictures mean. (how wind afffects the turbine basen on different location)
I suggest you to re-write this introductory paragraph. By doing so, I'll give you a further feedback.
Thank you. Good Luck!


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1 : The design for a wind turbine and its location