IELTS writing task 2 "Designing a building"

Hello friends.. Please help me to review my writing.

When designing a building, the most important factor is intended use of the building rather than its outward appearance.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Appealing appearance when a building is designed might be the best consideration for several architects because it is the part of artistic expression. Nonetheless, I insist that the function of the building is the most prominent indicator in order to accommodate fundamental necessity for the owners or the residents.

Aesthetic design of a building is a part of art beautification. The eye-catching illustration of a building has a high tendency to encourage visitors because they were fascinated and witness to explore every angle. Sydney Opera House are the most well-know building in Australia and a word heritage site because it represent authentic and unique design. Many tourists visit this landmark. Despite of the beauty, the designer team focused on it as a multi-venue for arts performance, therefore it fit for around 1,500 people with convenience device. Hence, it still operates because the functional demand.

A sketch of gorgeous building ought to accommodate the basic needs for many people. Architect of a primary school construction in England are capable to visualize every detail, like a huge parking lot for handful vehicle that provide a direct access to the pick up and drop out lines, educational space like library, which are located far from the sport hall and theatre arena. The school building is preferred to meet the student's necessity. Thus, school design would stimulate students to have positive pedagogical environment and becomes a high quality school due to the suitable facilities.

In conclusion, I agree architect should be mainly thinking on how the building is used based on the purpose because it will improve the quality, rather than focusing on the outward appearance in terms of art to impress many people.

Insisting on the function of a building is not the same as giving an extent response. The extent response still needs to use proper descriptive terms. Insisting refers to you being involved in an argument, which you are not. The discussion is an opinion statement rather than a debate. So, instead of insisting, you should be delivering emotional responses instead such as "I fully agree with the notion that..." and then explain your reason in a separate sentence. You do realize that you are one sentence short of a complete paragraph in the opening statement right? Yes, that was caused by the combined response in your second sentence, which is only a long confusing sentence. One idea per sentence delivers a clearer thought process to the reader.

Your second and third paragraphs provide acceptable reasons for your opinion. However, your word usage and sentence structures need more work. While the paragraphs are understandable, you still need to smooth out the presentation with proper English word usage. Do not stop doing English sentence construction exercises alongside your essay practice tests. Doing both simultaneously will result in your improving your LR and GRA score in your practice test. Believe me, my students who have worked hard at both found that it was the best way for them to become more proficient in written English, even if their spoken English was still a bit problematic.

The concluding paragraph should have been the opening restatement. You are supposed to present 2 restatements of the original prompt. One at the beginning and one at the end. Your extent response is still missing in the concluding paragraph. The measurement of agreement is a significant requirement that proves your ability to understand and follow English instructions. Once again, you have the formatting problem in the concluding presentation. There should be an additional 1-3 sentences in that section that thoroughly summarizes the preceding reasons and discussion points prior to the restatement of your opinion.