The writer has created an orginal prompt statement rather than simply restating the original prompt. As such, the task rewriting considerationn have not been met. If one were to look at the orginal topic, he would see that his opening statement is totally unrelated to the first version. He has not given a clear measured opinion either, leaving the examiner without a preliminary response to score. A flatly stated opinion is used to score the accuracy of the response in relation to the discussion instruction. The provided paragraph does not meet formatting requirements.
On the downside which I firmly believe
This is the required response in the first paragraph that was necessary to help establish the succeeding discussion.
Add to this the incompletely discussed openon and one will understand the failing score. There is a lack of early opinion reference, strong opinion reasons covering 2 stand-alone paragraphs, and a properly developed discussion presentations. clear LR problems and inaccurate sentence formats are the final series of enors that will prevent a passing score.