Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Despite having few harmful consequences, Internet has a positive effect on the society.


English_Learner 3 / 1 3  
Oct 10, 2013   #1
Question : The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. although some of these changes have been negative , the overall affect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinion on this?

Technology had offered us with internet a few decades before but it has enriched our lives spectacularly.Internet has enhanced productivity of business industry as well as personal development. Despite having few harmful consequences, in my opinion it has a positive effect on the society.

Regarding business, internet has facilitated marketing skills, updated information to the buyers and made communication easy and quick for instance we have e-mails, instant messaging sites, video conferencing facilities and internet telephone.

Furthermore, in our personal lives, beside facilitating the communication mentioned above , the internet has given us access to infinite range of news and information. In addition, it has provided us with convenience of publishing, downloading , watching online videos, online classes and chatting with friends from any corner of the world.It has also made banking and buying goods easier than before.

however, there are negative sides to internet revolution.It has brought along negative factors like cyber crimes for example ID theft, credit card fraud, and children watching pornography easily.It has also led people to social isolation especially teens because of its excess use.

In conclusion, internet has given us more positive changes which outweigh the negative ones. We simply need to be more careful in the ways we use it, as we can't deny its positive impact on our lives.
fahadbd 25 / 56 5  
Oct 11, 2013   #2
Technology had offered us with internet a few decades before but it has enriched our lives spectacularly

In this sentence, you use conditional word "but" so you need to differentiate information between two sentence while you use "BUT" in the middle. you say in the first close " technology offers us many aspects, internet is one of them Now use connective word "but" to say negative about it
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Oct 11, 2013   #3
Internet has enhanced productivity

The Internet has enhanced productivity ....

Despite having few harmful consequences, in my opinion it has a positive effect on the society.

Despite the fact that it does have a few harmful effects on society, I believe its positives outweigh the negatives.

Regarding business, internet has facilitated marketing skills, updated information to the buyers and made communication easy and quick for instance we have e-mails, instant messaging sites, video conferencing facilities and internet telephone.

Actually, the Internet has facilitated speedy decision making capabilities by enhancing the level of information dissemination and reducing the effect of time and geographical barriers.

Also, this line looks like a full body para. Is it?
phuoc 7 / 13 4  
Oct 31, 2013   #4
English_Learner

I think it is better to bring the negative part to the second paragraph so that you can contrast it in the following paragraph


Home / Writing Feedback / Despite having few harmful consequences, Internet has a positive effect on the society.