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Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents.


sarinburritos34 2 / 2  
Jul 29, 2020   #1
Despite improvements in vehicle technology, there are still large numbers of road accidents. Explain some of the causes of these accidents and suggest some measures that could be taken to address the problem

Although there have been tremendous technological advancements in transportation, cases of road accidents are still on the rise. An increasing number of accidents occur due to two main reasons which this essay will elaborate on.

The primary cause of road accidents, which has been for many years, is people driving under the influence of alcohol. Every year there are numerous cases of drunk driving which results in people getting severely injured or in some cases death. A small increase in the blood alcohol content increases the relative risk of a motor vehicle crash. The current penalty of imposing high fines have not had a major impact to reduce such cases. In order to mitigate this problem, the governments should cancel driving licenses of the offenders. And in serious cases where it has lead to people dying, longer jail sentences should be imposed without bail. Additionally, people who are struggling with alcoholism should go through mandatory rehabilitation.

Secondly, smartphones have become the root cause of distracted driving. The lack of attention on the road, to oncoming vehicles, and pedestrians on the streets have lead to fatalities. To solve this, stricter fines need to be imposed for first time offenders. Repeat offenders will have to appear in court and run the risk of losing their vehicles. Moreover,the governments should organize safe-driving awareness campaigns in schools, colleges and offices.

In conclusion, although we have access to advanced vehicles with the latest safety features, people's negligence to follow the rules have made the roads unsafe to drive on. To address this severe penalties should be levied on the offenders and awareness on safe-driving should be made mandatory in communities.

monica0407 3 / 4 1  
Jul 29, 2020   #2
1/ number of accidents occurs due to two ...
2/ "The current penalty of imposing ...." => A high penalty currently have not contributed to reduce those cases
3/ you can change "impose" into" regulate"
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,031 2721  
Jul 30, 2020   #3
There is a 5 sentence maximum, 3 sentence minimum, for all paragraphs. Your first reasoning paragraph is over this requirement. You have to shorten your presentations. Make it informative without using too many words. That is where you can prove that you are capable of writing in a cohesive and coherent manner, thus scoring better in the C&C section. Do not go over the 5 sentence limit in any paragraph, do not go under the 3 minimum limit either.

Review your singular v plural rules. "Is people" should be "are people" since "people" is the plural form of person.

You need to work on your concluding paragraph. Always use the 3 sentence minimum to restate the topic, your reasons, solutions, and offer a concluding reminder to the reader. Your current concluding paragraph doesn't really help with your scoring assessment as it does not deliver on the required content.


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