I will be so thankful for my revising my new essay
Many reports reveal that television is a great menace for destroying communication among friends and family. On the other hand, others are opposed with mentioned notion.
In my vision, the first opinion is true and I have some reasons for holding my opinion.
For the first, good communication among friends is not advertised by news and also violence is increasing on television programs. For instance, last month Iran news showed that the child is burglarized in dinner party by their close family friend owing to money and child molesting. From an emotional angle, the majority of parents is impressed by news and believes that mentioned problems at least can be prevented by eliminating communication among their friends.
According to many statistics and reports, the average of people change the way for spending their leisure time by reclining in front of television and watch television programs for at least four hours a day. In elderly generation, our parents went to each other houses and strengthen relationship and family communication. But for instance, last night I squander seven hours for watching my favorite sport programs. So, I had to cancel my appointment with my friend for the third time. In my estimate, human desires for watching television can not be quenched and replaced by communication with friends.
Finally, as is known to all, we can find every thing that we need on television programs from cooking to educational programs. As a result, we really do not need to communicate with our friends with different background for learning. It is a reason that can destroy communication among friends.
To sum up, violence advertising, changing in spending leisure time and finding comprehensive programs on television are all reasons that can destroy communication among friends.
Many reports reveal that television is a great menace for destroying communication among friends and family. On the other hand, others are opposed with mentioned notion.
In my vision, the first former opinion is true and I have some reasons for holding my opinion.
For the first, good communication among friends is not advertised by news and also violence is increasing on television programs. For instance, last month Iran news showed that the child is burglarized in dinner party by their close family friend owing to money and child molesting. From an emotional angle, the majority of parents isare impressed by news and believes that mentioned problems at least can be prevented by eliminating communication among their friends.
According to many statistics and reports, the average of people change the way forof spending their leisure time by reclining in front of television and watching television programs for at least four hours a day. In elderly generation, our parents went to each other's housesandto strengthen relationship and family communication. But for instance, last night I squandered seven hours for watching my favorite sport programs. So, I had to cancel my appointment with my friend for the third time. In my estimate, human desires for watching television can not be quenched and replaced by communication with friends.
Finally, as isit known to all, we can find every thing that we need on television programs from cooking to educational programs. As a result, we really do not need to communicate with our friends with different background for learning. It is a reason that can destroy communication among friends.
To sum up, violence advertising, changing in ways of spending leisure time and finding comprehensive programs on television are all reasons that can destroy communication among friends.
I think ur viewpoints are not convincible. Try find better! Good luck
Dear leonardo
Thanks a million for helping me. Your points are so helpful.
To sum up, violence advertising, changes in the way people spend leisure time, and the absence of comprehensive programs on television are all circumstances that can destroy communication among friends.
:-)
Hello, I've saw some grammar those almost said that we should avoid "but,and,or ...etc" in the fisrt word of sentence.
Thanks a lot:)
