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IELTS ; Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skills?


zoha 8 / 19 3  
Aug 6, 2013   #1
"Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skills or should they promote education first? Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Poor nations experience a great deal of misery with their limited financial resources. They have to prioritize one important task at the sake of others. Most of them find themselves in a critical situation whether to concentrate on coaching new techniques to their workforce or upgrade their educational system. I believe financially challenged governments should allocate equal funds to incorporate latest technological advances in to their businesses and building educational institutions.

The contemporary techniques have revolutionized the industrial world. These skills save time and produce exponential results. A classic example of this is the proper use of refined fertilizers for farming which has doubled the growth of crops. The regulating body should offer free and local access of these sources to workers.

However, investment in a country education model has monumental significance as well. In fact, low literacy rates are among the root causes of poverty of these underdeveloped countries. The authorities must devote enough funds to furnish schools with professional educators; these institutions must be equipped with computers. The highest education rates are unsurprisingly belong to rich nations.

To conclude, enhancement of use of the latest innovations in business sectors and public schooling are the two most vital areas to consider for underprivileged states. It would pavé their pathway for future growth.

alice0209 12 / 18 12  
Aug 7, 2013   #2
Poor nations experience a great deal of misery with their limited financial resources. They have to prioritize one important task atfor the sake of others.

Most of them find themselves in a critical situation of whether to concentrate on coaching new techniques to their workforce or upgrade their educational system.

However, investment in a country's education model has monumental significance as well. In fact, low literacy rates are among the rootprimary causes of poverty of these underdeveloped countries.

In my opinion, since the topic is "Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skills or should they promote education first ?" , you should make priority and decide which one should be the first. Otherwise your essay might seem to be weak because you choose neither side to make your point.

Hope this help:)
gmad06 20 / 151 55  
Aug 7, 2013   #3
You did not address the essay task properly.
- your introduction focuses on poor nations only, be mindful that the term "developing countries" does not necessarily mean poor countries...
- your conclusion is not fully relevant to the topic, and you even left the question unanswered...

- a better content for your ideas would be answering the question:
1) how can improving industrial skills of the people contribute to a nation's development
2) how can promoting education contribute to a nation's development

your opinion should be which one to prioritize...

hope this helps...
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Aug 7, 2013   #4
Poor nations experience a great deal of misery with their limited financial resources

....mention why it is so

They have to prioritize one important task at the sake of others

... This is not clear at all... what do they need prioritize? what do you mean by "one important task"? and why you say "sake of others"? All these things you need to answer for the reader to understand what you mean.

My advice for you is to follow a more simple and clearer sentences in presenting your ideas. That way you can arouse the reader's interest without making him tired of reading more complex sentences.


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