The advantage of tourism
Nowadays, many developing countries place a lot of importance on tourism. In my opinion, this is a positive development.
Tourism is aggregate service economic. In other words, Tourism play a key driver for service economic growth. A tourist starts a trip, he uses many kinds of service as transport, telecommunication, accommodation service, banking, heath care, fashion, souvenir...Develop tourism mean that develop other services economic.
When develop tourism, many airlines and train are operating with big capacity under rapidly increasing of individual travel demand. In additional, taxi and truck, coach also have a range of customers. From that contribute to the development of transportation economic.
Tourism create the big amount of jobs for many unemployed people. Through out operation of resorts, hotel and restaurants, many low-skilled workers get a job and have a stable income. From that, contribution on handling many social problems as unemployment, reduce the distance between rich and poor, exchange culture from area to area...
Tourism also enhance nation reputation through product of souvenir and foreigner tourist. A country is well-known by operation of tourism. Not only commercial activities as selling souvenir is developing, but also culture value is advertising to other countries through foreigner.
Tourism contribute to budget of local with income from tax of enterprise at there. Develop tourism affect on the need of products, increasing local consumptions. It also give change to research market, looking for business opportunities in the future.
The advantage of tourism not only contribute to GDP, it also is the way of interactive culture over the world. It is the shortest way into the globalization intergration.
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The prompt paraphrase section is incomplete and problematic. You need to use at least 3 sentences in this presentation composed of:
- Topic restatement
- State the reason you think this is happening
- Indicate if you believe this is a positive or negative development
- Give a single reason why you believe this
An additional problem of the presentation is the memorized phrase usage of the term "place a lot of importance on tourism". Since this is taken directly from the original prompt, it will be perceived as a cut and paste presentation, thereby lowering your TA score to the cut and paste scoring level. It will give your scoring foundation a bad start.
Your first sentence in your second paragraph is difficult to understand. Do not focus on using complicated words to express yourself. Aim for clarity using simple words, you will score better in the LR and GRA section that way instead of using complicated words that will make it difficult for the reader to understand your point.
The Task 2 essay is composed only of 4-5 paragraphs, depending upon the number of writing instructions as provided by the prompt. In this case, there are 2 direct questions asked so you have to write no more than 4 paragraphs composed of :
- Paraphrase + question responses
- First question explanation
- Second question explanation
- Concluding summary
Your essay is not well focused and has several GRA, spelling, clarity, and conciseness problems. These are errors that I will not worry about for now. I would rather that you learn how to properly format the essay first, then learn to correct the rest of the errors second. The format carries a heavy scoring consideration, which is why I need you to focus on that aspect of your writing first.