Unanswered [9] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Writing task 5 : The Development of An Island


Aris05 31 / 24 1  
Sep 18, 2016   #1
The two figures depicts the development of an island based on tourist facilities. Overall, it can be clearly seen that the island generally became more crowded with many new accomodations and other supporting facilities like restaurant, reception, swimming area, pier, footpath, and vehicle track without giving impact to natural resources.

In the beginning time, before facilities were constructed, an island just had some trees and beach. Most areas still were empty without any special facilities. Over the time, the island shows a significant development, while many facilities supporting the tourism have been built including accomodation, restaurant, reception, pier and swimming facilities in beach. Although there are so many new facilities built in the island, the trees and plant still exist in the same number.

In addition, footpath and vehicle track have been built to make an integrated tourism facilities. The footpaths were made to connect the accommodation and beach, while vehicle track were built to facilitate amongst the restaurant, reception, and pier.




ryan31 65 / 96 15  
Sep 18, 2016   #2
hai aris
there are several examine from me
I hope it helps to improve your writing skill

The two figures depicts (choose which one between figure and depict which using "s") the development of an island .
... became more crowded with many new accomodationsaccommodations and other supporting facilities likesuch as restaurant, reception, swimming ...

(superlative must use the)The m ost areas still were empty (...) have been built including accomodationaccomodation , restaurant, reception, pier ...

... vehicle track have been built up(collocation) to make an integrated tourism facilities.

thank you
keep writing
Qaranewlagi52 4 / 8  
Sep 19, 2016   #3
Hay aris, i have some suggestion for u.. maybe can make u writing skill better

- ... became more crowded with many new accomodations(Accommodations)
- facilities like restaurant , reception, swimming area, pier, footpath, and vehicle track ... (or better u can add A same like a restaurant)
- Although there are so many new facilities ... (or you can change your sentences 'even,while or other')

Note : good skill writing, just more be careful about your spell, hope ur improve skill better
tankyou. keep writing!


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing task 5 : The Development of An Island