Hello EassyForum
I am Tonya，I am practicing my writing ability and this is my first thread，
I will appreciate it if i can get some help here
my topic is life today is easier than it was when your grandparents were children?
With the development of modern technology and science, people's life become more and more convenient .Many people are in favor of that life today is more easier than that in the old time when our grandparents were children.However ,i completely hold a view that the old time is more comfortable.the following sentences suggest my opinions.
In the first place, there is one point today that is harder than before--education.as the technology developing rapidly,the competitiveness is severe among teenage students.in China,high school students even spend more than ten hours studying in school .what they are faced with is hundreds of exam papers and homework tasks .they cannot have enough time to take exercise like basketball and enjoy holidays.for a better university,they sacrifice their several years and study day by day.However ,in the grandparents' time,there are not many people who are willing for the university scolarship. they do what they want to do. they can refuse the typical education and choose jobs like chefs
Another issue that annoys people today is job opportunities.The population today is several times than that in our grandparents' time ,but the work chances are relatively unchanged .As a result, a large number of people cannot have jobs .My brother is searching for a job as a undergraduate rencently, however ,he only receive one offer from tens of applications .He has to aspect it although the salary is low.In the old times,the population is much lower than that today ， most of people can get jobs .
The last point is the enviroment is no longer that clean as the old time. A large number factories are built today and most of pollution from factories are directly discharged into rivers or soil which does harms to environment . In a meanwhile ,the automobile exhaust is also discharged to air .more and more people are suffering from cancer and die for it. On a contrary ,when my grandparents were childrem,the sky was blue and rivers were clear.What people and animal lived is a healthy life .
In conclusion,although the morden technology makes our life convenient,,we have to admit that the life pressure today is much more severe than before. We have to endure the pressure of education，shortage of employment chances，polluted environment around us.
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thank you for your reading and any comments are welcome!
Hello @tonya. I got some suggestions for your writing.
Here my advice:
1. ... that life today is more easier than ... ( it is redundant if you write more easier)
2. children. H owever, I completely hold a view that .... (Pay attention with capitalization rules and semi colon)
3. for the university sch olarship.
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections
... life today is more easier than that in the old time past when ...
... today that is harder than before-- education.as the technology (...) competitiveness is severe getting worse among between teenage students.iIn China,high (...) spend more timethan ten hours ...
they They cannot have enough time ...
for a better university,they sacrifice their several ...
they They do what they want to do. they They can refuse the typical (...) like chefs.
Maybe you can make the order for the sentences connected.
You can added some words next to between student and something.
You can change the our grandparents time to another similar word.
